“I’m so sorry, honey. So, so sorry.”

“What will happen to him, Dad?” I ask.

“I don’t know. But I promise we’ll find a good home for him. Hopefully someplace near us, so you can visit him whenever you want.”

“What if he’s sad? What if he isn’t treated well? How can we make sure?”

My dad puts his hands on my shoulders and squeezes. He’s quiet, which makes me more scared. It means he doesn’t know how we can make sure. Maybe he knows we can’t.

I turn around in his grasp to get a direct answer and discover that his face is streaked wet with tears. The only time I’ve ever seen my dad cry is the day Ivy was born, and those were happy tears.

“I’m sorry I was so mean to everyone last night,” I say. “I’m sorry I ruined Ivy’s pillow.”

He pulls me to him so I can’t see him cry. He must be even more scared than I am. And worried for all of us. I don’t know how much our mortgage was, but if we can’t afford to pay that, how will we pay rent somewhere?

“Dad?” I ask, the side of my face still pressed into him. “Are we going to be homeless?”

He squeezes me tighter. “No, honey. We’ll figure something out. Mom and I have an appointment at the bank today. We’ll know more after that. But we won’t be homeless. We just . . . we’ll have to live a lot differently.”

“I’m scared,” I say into his shirt.

He doesn’t answer for a long time. Not even to say We’ll manage. He just holds me. But it doesn’t feel comforting. It doesn’t make me feel like things will be OK or that I shouldn’t feel scared.

I wait and wait for him to tell me not to be afraid, but he doesn’t, which makes things feel even more scary. He’s always been the one to make us believe everything is fine. That we’ll get by. Or good news is just around the corner. This must mean that things are so bad, even he can’t find a bit of hope.

“I’m afraid of what will happen to Rainbow and George,” I finally say to break the silence.

“I know,” he says quietly. “We’ll do everything we can to keep George. Most places allow house cats. And I promise we’ll try to find Rainbow the best possible home. He’s easy to care for. And lots of people with horses like to have ponies to keep their horses company.”

“But he’ll think we abandoned him. He’ll think we don’t love him anymore.”

My dad loosens his hold on me and runs his hand along Rainbow’s back, over and over again. Rainbow doesn’t seem to notice.