“And while we’re at it,” said Holden, “Duke Orsino?! That was the one role Ezra was dead set on getting. And suddenly, he’s a psychopath who wants to be a tree, and you’re fluent in Shakespeare and are gunning for the role instead. And don’t even get me started on that vengeful look on your face. You were auditioning for that role like you were getting back at someone. And that someone was Ezra. Am I right? Tell me that I’m wrong. I dare you to tell me that I’m wrong.”

I had to hand it to Holden: He was observant. His penchant for conspiracy theories probably only helped the situation.

“Here’s what I think happened,” said Holden. “I think you were picking on Ezra like you always do. And I think you always pick on him because maybe you have a thing for him. And I’ll just say it: Ezra is a pretty sexually frustrated guy.”

Wow. Thanks, buddy.

“Anyway,” he continued, “one thing leads to another. Suddenly, the sexual tension pops, and you guys just do it. Like, in the janitor’s closet, maybe.”

I raised a dubious eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe not the janitor’s closet. It’s not important where you guys did it. The important thing is that you did. You did it. You banged. Maybe Ezra lured you in quoting Romeo or something. Yeah, that’s where you learned it! Ezra’s smooth Romeo lines. You swooned over those words, and you memorized them in your heart, and then you banged.”

My god. Did Holden live in a daytime soap opera?

“But then it was weird,” said Holden. His eyes drifted as he thought. “And maybe Ezra realized he didn’t have a thing for you. That maybe he made a big mistake. And that turned him into an angsty psycho. And you—heartbroken—decided to exact revenge upon him, using the very same Romeo lines with which he swooned you.”

Holden ended his rant sort of breathless. He returned his focus to me.

“Am I close?” he said—suddenly not so sure of himself.

Okay, here was the thing: Wynonna and I had a lot of explaining to do. We had inadvertently burned bridges for each other—perhaps the most important bridges of all: our friendships—and with those bridges burned, we couldn’t very well help each other out.

But maybe Holden was onto something with this “sex” scenario. It could explain my and Wynonna’s irrational behavior. It could explain why we had inexplicably distanced ourselves from our best friends. And, in all honesty, it was nothing for Holden and Imogen to get upset over. If anything, Holden and Imogen would be sympathetic! They knew about our real crushes. They would know that this was a mistake on our parts—a lapse in good judgment, driven by our tortured hearts.