My jaw dropped. “Did you just swear?”

“No,” she lied.

“That was a swearword that came out of your mouth just now.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“I’ve never heard you swear before. Not once.”

“What? Whatever. I say swears all the time.”

“Like what?!”

“You know? Swears. Like… holy dicks!”

Imogen had never said “holy dicks” once in her life either. I was pretty sure no one had. That was not a thing anyone had said, ever.

“But you didn’t swear just now?” I said. “That wasn’t a swearword?”

“Uh…” she said, panicking. “I’m confused.”

I was smiling so hard, it was an unstoppable force, threatening to conquer my face forever.

“Oh my god,” she groaned, like she had a stomachache. “Your smile is so goddamn pretty.”

“YOU DID IT AGAIN.”

Imogen started fanning herself with her hand. “It is hot in here, or is it just you? I mean, me. I mean… what? What are we talking about?”

When we arrived at Slevin Manor, Willow and Dad were curled up on the couch watching Steven Universe. That was their thing—watching cartoons together. They lit up when they saw Imogen—aka Ezra’s date—and then looked suuuuper confused when they saw Miss Nineteen-Fifties walking in beside her.

Slowly, over the course of ten of the most awkward seconds of my life, realization clicked in.

Willow stood up.

Started clapping.

“Bravo,” she said. “Dang, bro. You look smokin’.”

Don’t blush, Ezra, don’t blush, don’t you dare fucking—

I blushed.

“Ezra?” said Dad. “Wow. You look, uh… I guess ‘beautiful’ is the word? Beautiful. Yeah. You look beautiful. Sorry. We just watched the ‘Jail Break’ episode of Steven Universe where Garnet sings and beats up Jasper, so my brain is all over the place.”

And then Willow and Dad looked at Imogen, and panicked.

“You look amazing, Imogen!” said Willow.

“Absolutely stunning,” said Dad.

“Gorgeous.”

“Amazing.”

“I already said that, Dad.”

“I’m reemphasizing.”

“Oh, you guys,” said Imogen, shrugging her shoulders bashfully.

“So, uh…” said Dad. “Is this a prom thing?”

“Actually, we’re making a YouTube video,” I said. And then a sudden, very important thought occurred. “Willow, who did your Malvolio makeup?”

“Uh, me,” she said. “Duh?”

“How would you like to play another old man?”

I explained the scenario: that this was essentially a highlights reel of the movie Ed Wood. (Willow watched it with me once, although she seemed less impressed by modern films that felt the need to be filmed in black-and-white.) I explained that she would be Bela Lugosi, the original Dracula actor.

Ed Wood was about friendship, after all. And besides, Bela Lugosi had all the best lines.

“Is this the one where Dracula’s a heroin addict?” said Willow.

“Uh, morphine, actually,” I said.

Willow grinned, and then attempted her best Transylvanian: “Count me een. Get eet? Because I’m ze count. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.”