Chief among them that the only thing that makes her ache more than imagining Hannah with someone else is imagining Hannah being alone.

Hannah squeezes her hand back as she also squeezes her eyes closed. “Anyway. Related to this very fun topic: this is why I couldn’t sleep.”

The change in subject is both abrupt and not, but she goes with it. “Because you were thinking about our dismal dating lives?”

Everything brightens in the flash moment where Hannah lets out a surprised laugh. “No, Caroline, not because of that. Specifically.” She adds with a contemplative look. “But… I haven’t slept in bed with someone who isn’t Abbie in,” she hesitates for a few beats. “A long time.”

“Almost two years.” She supplies, adding up Hannah and Michael’s separation.

Which makes Hannah’s smile grow a little tighter around the edges. “Uh, no. We weren’t – we didn’t sleep together, most nights. There was a guest room down the hall from the master that I started sleeping in when Michael became really…” She trails off, clearing her throat. “So, I would say, closer to four years.”

Caroline takes in what she’s saying, and just thinking about Hannah trapped with Michael – and all of the lasting effects it clearly still holds on her – makes her ache. She sits up in bed with a determined nod. “I can sleep on the couch.”

Before she can move, though, Hannah’s hand is around her wrist. “No, please. I don’t want you to go, I just…” She takes in a deep breath and tugs at Caroline’s wrist, her hand firm and warm. And, really, Hannah tugging her back into bed is probably the most enticing thing in the world, so there’s no way Caroline could possibly say no. Even if she definitely should.

She slowly lays back down as Hannah asks, “Are you really a cuddler? Like Jess said?”

Embarrassment tinging at her cheeks, Caroline scrubs a hand over her face. “I mean… yes. It’s really a subconscious thing,” she’s quick to explain. “If I’m sharing a bed with someone, I inevitably wake up cuddled against them. Well. On them, usually.”

There’s a warm smile on Hannah’s face, incredibly soft, as she regards Caroline before she scoots a little closer. And her smile slips just a bit into uncertainty. “Do you mind if I –” She licks her lips. “If we… god, this is ridiculous. I haven’t been cuddled or held like that in a long time and if that’s how we’re going to end up, would you mind if we… before we go to sleep?”

Distance is what she should be thinking about, she reminds herself. It’s the goal.