“I look forward to it.” His voice sounds relaxed now, like the Aiden I expected to work with. The one everyone is always raving about. He’s such a nice guy. Surprisingly nice. Well, finally, I’m surprised in a good way. Because my mom just won the lottery; I’m on my first canoe trip, with no real destination in mind; and the river is in control. Fate is in control. And I think, for just this summer, I’m going to let it take charge. Let it push me along, like the river’s current, through June and July and August. I’m done being the one worrying about everything. It hasn’t been working out too great for me, anyway. All of my careful planning, and what did I get: the perfect internship? The perfect boyfriend? A mom who gives a crap? I didn’t get any of it. So screw them. And screw plans. This summer, I’m going to do what Emma said, and let loose. I’ll let fate decide—one coin flip at a time.

Chapter

Seven

AIDEN

Total trip time: two hours. We missed lunch, and Ellis seemed irritated that we were gone for so long, but he’ll get over it. Luckily, The Grill was slow and Beth could come work the launch with him, so things weren’t a total disaster when we finally arrived back at the docks. Ellis tried to pull a power play on me and have me work late to make up for my “joy ride” with Olivia, but there was no way I was missing my meeting with Mr. Winters. Not when it’s the first time I get to show him some of the pieces I’m working on for my portfolio review.

Even in the summer, when everything is put away and the windows have been closed for weeks, Mr. Winters’s classroom smells the same. It’s this weird mix of acrylic paint, wet clay, hot glue—even the paintbrushes have their own special smell that’s mixed in. I love the smell of it. In this room I feel like Aiden, not Emerson. I pull a sheet out of my black portfolio and stare at the smudged lines of charcoal. That’s what life looks like most of the time now—like a smudged charcoal drawing—soft around the edges, blurry and unfocused.