“Your first retreat? Really? So you’ve been with us for about thirty-six hours, and you are willing to die for our cause?”

“I know it sounds ridiculous, but that’s just it—I feel like I’ve always been with you. Like this is my home and all my life I’ve been searching for it without knowing I was looking for it. Nothing has ever felt like it did the day I stepped on your campus.” His gaze shifted from Ray and out into the group. “Most of you don’t know me, but my life fell apart last year after my wife left me. She destroyed me and took everything I had. I couldn’t stomach the idea of rebuilding it when all of it could come crumbling down again at any minute. That’s where my happiness had been, and I refused to put it there. Not again.” He was crying by the time he finished.

“I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around how you could be so committed in such a short time,” Ray said, unwilling to let it go. It was like that when he got fixated on something.

He shrugged. “What can I say? I was open to the message, and it filled me.”

“Wow. That’s pretty incredible.” He rubbed his chin. “Do you think you could wait here for a minute?” Kevin nodded, and Ray hurried off to his cabin. A few of the others jumped up and surrounded Kevin, asking him more questions about his situation and how he’d found Love International while we waited for Ray to return. It wasn’t long before he did.

“Please sit,” Ray said. He grabbed Kevin’s arm as he moved to sit back down with the others. “Not you. We’re not done.”

“Oh, okay,” Kevin said. He couldn’t hide his excitement at getting to stay and keep working with Ray.

“Our entire philosophy is based on putting our beliefs into motion. We have to do more than say we believe in something. Our actions must support our words. We ask ourselves to prove our commitment to our beliefs in the same way that God asks us to prove ourselves.” He threw his arm around Kevin’s waist, bringing him closer to him. “And that’s what I’m going to ask you to do tonight.” He pulled out a bottle of pills from his pocket and waved them in the air for everyone to see. “You said you would die for Love International. These pills will shut down your internal organs.” Ray unscrewed the bottle. “Open your hand.” Kevin did as he was told. Ray dropped the pills into Kevin’s palm. “Prove it.”

Red flushed Kevin’s face. He laughed nervously and searched the crowd, his eyes wide, hoping someone knew what to do. I had no idea what he was supposed to do. Ray’s teaching methods were never conventional.

Ray snorted and rolled his eyes. “There you go, folks. This one lied. He’s full of it.”

“But Ray, I mean”—he closed his hand on the pills—“obviously I’m not going to kill myself in front of you all.”