I reach out and put a hand on his arm. “I do. Really, I do, and thank you. I’ve never looked at it that way. And I’m glad you read it and liked it. The idea that even after we lost touch you were reading my book makes me feel really good. You were one of my best friends back then, Ezra, and it means so much to me that even after we went our separate ways, you were still connected to me in some way. That you still cared.” I’m rambling a bit, but I don’t seem to be able to stop. It’s just all pouring out of me.

“Went our separate ways? I think you mean when you went to sailing club and got too cool for me and barely managed to say hi that day in town.” His words stop my words short.

I wince. “Yeah, but let’s just forget about that little blip in our friendship, shall we?”

“Deal,” he says, holding out his hand. I shake it. He gives his empty beer bottle a shake. “Let’s go inside so I can get another one of these.”

I flip the record over, and we sit on the couch. He asks me about my girls. I enjoy describing them in detail, their likes, dislikes, quirks, accomplishments. I, of course, show him way too many pictures of them on my phone. He asks me about Leo, but the song change distracts him and I’m grateful I don’t have to answer.

“My dad used to play this song on his guitar.” He’s absorbed in a memory for a few seconds and then holds out his hand to me. “Care to dance?”

At first I think he’s joking, but he keeps his hand there until I take it, and then he pulls me up off the couch and into his arms. I can feel his body through his thin T-shirt. I put my hand on his neck, and he puts his on my lower back. The placement is calculated, on both our parts. I can move my hand up into his hair to further the intimacy, and he can move his down.

Strategies I know well. One slight move of the hand and you’ve gone from harmless and platonic to intimate and illicit. A game I thrive on. I let my breath catch and then sigh it out, and his grip on me tightens. Taking my hand out of his, I wrap both arms around his neck to deepen our embrace.

I’m steering this thing right in the direction I know I shouldn’t. I promised myself I would be better; take things slower, care less about the conquest and more about the relationship. But this is Ezra and we already have a relationship, and it’s been so very long since I’ve been touched or done any touching.