In an attempt to take my mind off the birds and Leslie and the phone call to the police, I call my girls and gratefully listen to them ramble on about every little detail of their innocent lives. It’s a good conversation, but it empties me out with longing for them. Makes me feel hollow and scraped out on the inside. You don’t know before having children how much they fill you up, become the matter under your skin that makes you feel like a whole person.

After we hang up, I flood the verandah with hot soapy water, hoping it gets rid of the smell, then finally head out for my run. Instead of it clearing my head as it normally does, I feel myself getting angrier about the dead birds. About someone trespassing on my island to do something like that—the violation, the malice behind it. All I wanted was to come back here for some peace and quiet, time to grieve my sister. Instead I’m left to suffer from the mess my mother made and deal with outdated bids for revenge.

I stop at the opening of the path into the clearing, deciding to go check on the tree, hoping to catch someone there who I can unleash my fury on. When I arrive at the tree, that fury is quickly extinguished by the chill that runs through me. It’s not the same as before; it’s even bigger this time, the branches thicker, more string used to hold it all together. A new cross leaning up against the tree, one that would be impossible for me to break in two.

I slowly back away from the tree, not even daring to touch it. The new, bigger cross feels like a very clear message—whoever put it there doesn’t care that this is my island; they are not going to back down. Somebody wants me off this island. I just have to find out who and why, because I’m not going anywhere.

I’ve told Ezra that I have to mail a letter and suggested that we meet at the Bridgeside Tavern, the only bar in town. I head there an hour before our scheduled meeting time. I want to sit at the bar on my own for a little while, see if I can attract some locals over and get them talking. I have a feeling that Ezra is careful with what he tells me, worried that he’ll upset me. But I need to know the uncensored truth. I need to know how many people in this town have it out for my family and why.