She couldn’t remember when she had last had a meal and she ate the sandwiches in quick bites. The bread was dry but she helped it down with gulps of her tea. She tipped the cereal into the bowl and poured the milk over it. The milk was warm and had a sour under-taste. It almost made her gag, but she ate it all and when she was finished she tipped the bowl to drink the last of the milk. She still felt hungry.

She sat on the toilet behind the thin curtain. She felt like an animal. As she sat there, her trousers around her ankles, she felt as if lights were flashing and there was a ringing in her ears. She suddenly thought of smashing her face into the wall, over and over again, something that might bring relief, that might make all of this stop.

Instead, she wiped herself, pulled up her trousers, washed her hands and sat back on her bed against the wall. She didn’t have anything to read and she didn’t have anything to do. The day felt shapeless and vast. Anyway, if she had sat there reading, that would feel like this was now her life instead of a nightmarish mistake, a mistake that would be corrected when everyone realized that she didn’t belong here and let her go.

Michaela was leaning over the sink, brushing her teeth. She was taking a long time over it. She spat into the sink, bent down and drank straight from the tap. She stood up, leaned her head back and gargled noisily. Tabitha felt like everything was turned up too high: the noises, the smells, the physical proximity of the other woman. Michaela pulled her hair back in a ponytail, then walked out of the cell. A few seconds later she walked back in. She leaned back on the table and looked down at Tabitha.

“Don’t just sit there.”

Tabitha didn’t reply. It felt too much of an effort.

“It’s worse if you do that. I know, I’ve been here for fourteen months.”

“What did you do?”

Michaela stared at her, her face quite expressionless. “Did they give you the bit of paper with all the shit about exercise and showers and when the library’s open?”

“I’ve got it somewhere,” said Tabitha. “But I don’t care about all that. It’s just a mistake.”

“Yeah? Well, don’t think you can just hide in here and get through without anyone noticing. It’s like a school playground. The little girl who stands in the corner wanting to be left alone, she’s the one who gets picked on. You need to get up. You need to get up and get a shower.”

“I don’t feel like it. Not today.”

Michaela reached under the little table that was reserved for Tabitha.