“I don’t mean to. I’m fine, Fergus. Weary. I didn’t sleep very well. Actually, I came around to tell you that I think I’m going away for a while. I’ve been a bit mad, haven’t I? I feel more peaceful now.”

“Do you?”

“I think so. The stages of grief.”

“If there’s anything I can do . . .”

“You already have.”

“What a ghastly time this has been for you.”

I smiled at him and looked down at the baby in my arms. “There’s been one light in all the darkness. A new life among the deaths.”

IT WOULD SOON be dark again. So much darkness and so little light. I went to Gwen’s house and she let me in. Daniel was there, too, wearing Gwen’s stripy apron and covered in flour. “He’s decided to make pasta,” said Gwen, proudly.

He led the way into the kitchen. There was flour on the floor, the work surfaces and the table. Bowls sticky with dough were piled in the sink and clothes hangers draped with long strips of gunk hung from the backs of chairs. Two large pans of water were boiling on the hob, filling the room with steam.

“Do you want to eat it with us?” Gwen asked.

“I don’t think so. I’m sure it’ll be delicious.”

“Have a cup of tea at least.”

“One cup and then I must go.”

“Busy?”

“Busy in my head.”

Daniel picked up one sagging strip of pasta dough and dropped it into the boiling water.

“Are you using your car at the moment, Gwen?”

“Not that I know of. I never use it if I can help it. It stands there from one week to the next. I’m thinking of selling it.”

“If she does need it, she can use mine instead,” said Daniel, hurling another strip into the pan and jumping back as water splashed over the rim. “This isn’t looking quite the way I imagined it would. They’re disintegrating.”

“Can I borrow it? I’m insured to drive any car. I was thinking of going away.”

“Where to?”

“I don’t know. Just for a few days.”

“But it’s Christmas.”

“Exactly.”

“Don’t go away on your own. Come and stay here, Ellie.” Gwen seemed close to tears.

“That’s really lovely of you but I need to go right away. Not for long. I’m sure you understand.”

“As long as you know that there’s always . . .”

“I do know. I’ve always known.”

“Of course you can take the car. Take it now.”

“Really?”

“No problem.”

“I’ll be very careful of it.”