“Criminally insane, Gigi,” Mel declares. “That’s what they said, that they think you might be criminally insane, and a danger to yourself and others. Nobody is supposed to talk to you, just call the police.”

“You could get shot,” Royal says. “Grandma had that happen when she was practicing criminal law. She had this guy who got shot because the cops were so scared of him, they didn’t give him any time to comply. Just bang!”

“Please, Gigi, you have to turn yourself in.” Mel is crying. Rose can barely stand being in her own skin.

“You could go in with Grandma,” Royal suggests. “I think she’d do it if I asked her. She knows all the judges and attorneys. It won’t be pro bono. Grandma doesn’t do criminals for free.”

Of course not.

And Rose is a criminal.

“Okay,” she says finally. “Ask your grandmother. I’ll turn myself in.”

“Now?” Mel demands.

“Grandma goes to bed after the ten o’clock news,” Royal reminds her.

“I bet she’d get up if she knew the star of the ten o’clock news was hiding out under her bedroom window,” Mel says.

“Let her sleep,” Rose begs. “Let me turn myself in tomorrow. Maybe a night free of drugs will clear Chuck’s mind. Besides, there is one last thing I need to do.”

Mel sucks in a breath. Probably to yell at her.

“Don’t worry,” Rose says. “It’s safe, legal, and necessary. After that, I’ll go to jail.”

Everybody will be safer then.

CHAPTER 28

Greene and Associates will be glad to accommodate Mrs. Dennis at such short notice, and, yes, attorney–client privilege most certainly does apply to clients of estate lawyers. Rose warns Ms. Greene that her passport, credit cards, driver’s license—all her ID has gone missing. Ms. Greene assures Rose the firm has everything on file from when she and Harley did their estate planning six years before. As Alma had met Mrs. Dennis on that occasion, there will be no difficulty establishing identity.

This is all done via email. After the previous night’s video, until Rose has confirmation on the attorney–client privilege part of the deal, she has no intention of revealing so much as her phone number. The video from the MCU’s security camera—Mel calls, half alarmed, half excited, to tell Rose—leaked and has gone viral. Already it has over seven hundred thousand hits. Mel also informs Rose that “about a zillion” related items come up if one Googles “Gun Granny.”

Gun Granny.

Rose cringes. Could ageism and sexism have made a more unholy match than “Gun Granny”? What is wrong with Vixen Vigilante? Senior Siren? Armed and cantankerous? At this juncture, Rose would settle for Walker Woman. “Gun Granny” is horrid on so many levels, she might actually welcome solitary confinement.