Back West of the Jordan
Chapters (45)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Make It Delicious
  4. PART ONE
  5. 1 HALA Going Home
  6. 2 MAWAL Nawara
  7. 3 SORAYA Fire
  8. 4 KHADIJA Sand and Fire
  9. PART TWO
  10. 5 HALA Mourning
  11. 6 MAWAL Crossing
  12. 7 SORAYA Visas
  13. 8 MAWAL Flowers from My Roza
  14. 9 KHADIJA School
  15. 10 HALA White
  16. 11 HALA Weddings
  17. 12 SORAYA Success
  18. 13 MAWAL America
  19. 14 KHADIJA Birthday
  20. 15 SORAYA The American Dream
  21. 16 KHADIJA Social Studies
  22. 17 SORAYA Fancy-Dance Man
  23. 18 HALA Sharif
  24. 19 MAWAL Looking
  25. 20 HALA Aqaba
  26. 21 HALA Visiting
  27. 22 MAWAL The Beautiful Gift
  28. 23 KHADIJA Traditions
  29. 24 HALA Dress Up
  30. 25 HALA Backgammon
  31. PART THREE
  32. 26 KHADIJA Sleeping Over
  33. 27 SORAYA Love Story/Remembering Story
  34. 28 KHADIJA Mothers
  35. 29 MAWAL Maziuna
  36. 30 SORAYA Clouds
  37. 31 KHADIJA Long Distance
  38. 32 HALA Old Men
  39. PART FOUR
  40. 33 HALA Naked Underneath
  41. 34 MAWAL Safe
  42. 35 KHADIJA Fire
  43. 36 SORAYA Just Down the Road
  44. 37 HALA Bare Walls
  45. Acknowledgments

“Can you believe Esmerelda is wearing that dress? It’s much too tight,” said my mother before Esmerelda came over and kissed her on both cheeks. On and on like this, and then eating then singing then dancing, first the older women then the younger ones.

Khadija came up to us and kissed my mother and then me on both cheeks. She had her hair pulled back in a thick braid and wore a ruffly pink dress that made her look like an overgrown doll. I introduced her to Ginna, who smiled and said, “Marhaba. You look very pretty, Khadija.”

“Thank you. So do you.” Khadija looked embarrassed, and though she stared at her feet I could tell she was flattered.

“Are you going to dance?” asked Ginna.

“She hates to dance,” I said, trying to spare Khadija having to explain.

“Why don’t we all dance together?” Ginna said. At first Khadija looked down and didn’t say anything, but then, to my surprise, she nodded. Ginna and I got up and we both held Khadija’s hands as we walked toward the front of the room to where the women were dancing. I could feel the eyes on me as we joined in their circle, but I danced like the rest of them, nothing flashy, no show-off shaking. Ginna danced conservatively too, as though she were also from our village and had been doing this forever. I had told Ginna about Khadija before and she had felt sorry for her, which is probably why she was so nice to her now, watching her the whole time and telling her what a good dancer she was. It was nice to see Khadija smiling and her eyes laughing.

As we danced, I looked to see who was in the band and Fadi winked at me. He graduated from my school last year and we used to hang out together, but in front of my family I pretend I don’t know him more than to say a formal hello. I looked at Lina, who was trying to tell me something with gestures, which is why I didn’t notice when Khadija’s father stepped into our group and grabbed Khadija.

“Slut,” he said to Ginna, loud enough that the other women could hear him, but not loud enough that the people who were not dancing could hear. “How dare you lay a hand on my daughter.”

Ginna had stopped dancing and was staring at him. “Fuck you,” she said.

“Uncle ...” I started to say.

“Don’t you dare talk to me,” he said, turning toward me. “Don’t dirty your family with this person.” He spat and looked back at Ginna. “Don’t you ever get near my daughter again.”

Khadija looked as though she would crumble with humiliation as her father dragged her off. I felt a knife go through me.