Chapters (46)
- Cover
- Other Titles
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Friday
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- Saturday
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- Sunday
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- Monday
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- EPILOGUE
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
And so he went to talk to Kate. It was the first time he had been alone with her in what seemed like months, all their time together usually boxed in by Nicki and her kids, or Katriina and their kids, or some unholy mixture of the two. Is that why he hadn’t noticed before the hollowness of her face, the strange fidgeting habit she had developed for a woman who had always been so collected, her vacant expression as she sat down at the kitchen table across from him? Had his everyday routine of work and kids and marriage and everything else taken up so much of his mind that he hadn’t seen what was happening right in front of his face? Or had he noticed and chosen to ignore it? How could he have let this happen?
“My darling, I am so happy to see you,” she said, reaching for his hand, and Shawn felt a renewed pang of guilt. Just a cup of coffee, that was all it would have taken. It would have been so easy to make the time.
He tried to smile. “I’m happy to see you, too, Mom,” he said, hoping that she would understand how much he meant it. But her eyes never moved from the middle distance, and her hand flitted away from his as though she had forgotten it was there.
He supposes he had wanted it to be like the old days, when he used to sit at the kitchen table watching Kate while she made coffee for the two of them, slipping a small shot of whisky into their mugs even though he wasn’t old enough to drink. Telling him all kinds of insane things, like he was the smartest, most amazing boy she had ever met and he could do anything he wanted if he put his mind to it. It was because of Kate that he had first asked out Katriina, who was a grade ahead of him in school and an honour roll student, captain of the girls’ volleyball team, and head of the student council. She was beautiful but had never had a boyfriend, not only because she was self-possessed in a way that was utterly terrifying to most of the boys – including Shawn – but because she never expressed any interest in dating, rebuffing all offers of book-carrying, of lunches bought in the caf, of rides home from school. Still, after the pressure of living with “you have to look after us girls,” it was exhilarating to imagine being with someone who could take care of herself, thank you very much.
“Why would she want to date me?” Shawn can remember whining.