Three months after what the Parkers now refer to as “the incident,” Finn is back in Thunder Bay to join the rest of her family for a taping of the first episode of Cassandra Coelho’s new talk show, Northwest Now, featuring an interview with none other than the Conqueror of Kakabeka herself. Finn had thought they could do better – The Ellen Show, maybe, or at least a national program, Canada AM or something – but it is astonishing how quickly people forget about internet celebrities these days. The only person who still cares about the Conqueror of Kakabeka is Cassandra Coelho, whose career has been made (if a regional morning talk show could be considered “made”) by her coverage of the drop, the bang, the flip, and the subsequent boat chase across Lake Superior, which ended up trending on social media for about thirty seconds before another celebrity decided to have an affair with a nanny.

They’re now all gathered at the television studio before the taping, stuffed into a room they were told was the “green room,” but which Finn is sure is actually just a broom closet – Walter and Kate, Shawn and Katriina, Nicki and Hamish, and Finn. Good old seventh-wheel Finn, although somehow the thought doesn’t bother her as much anymore.

Fifteen minutes before the show is scheduled to go live, Shawn pulls Finn out of the green room and into the hallway. “You need to go on stage with her,” he tells her.

A flutter of panic skitters through her veins. “Um, no,” she replies.

“Someone has to do it,” Shawn says. “She can’t go on by herself. We all decided it should be you.”

The flutter grows into a pounding. The prospect of having to wrangle Kate on live television – even if it is only a local news show – is enough to send her screaming back to Mississauga for good. “Why can’t one of you do it?”

Shawn sighs. “We all live here, Finn,” he says. “You don’t. It doesn’t matter if you humiliate yourself.”

“You don’t get to play that particular card for much longer.”

“I know.” Whenever Shawn talks about his family’s impending move to Ottawa, his voice is tinged with sadness, although Finn knows he is ready. She has been trying to be supportive, unlike Nicki, who swore she would never speak to him again. Kate just stared, blinking rapidly, until Finn explained that, yes, Ottawa was, in fact, a city. “I know the timing is terrible,” Shawn had said when he told them. “I don’t know if I can do this.” But Kate just touched his face, smiling up at him brightly. “You can do anything, Shawny,” she said.

“It’s going to be fine, Shawn,” Finn reassures him now.