She knows that if anyone were to examine her life, they would see a long string of mistakes: Getting knocked up at eighteen, then at twenty-one. Sleeping with her sister’s boyfriend. And Finn would have so much more to add to that list. Skipping classes, failing exams, mouthing off to teachers. Getting her tongue stuck to frozen metal, climbing too high in a tree, swimming too far out in the lake. Shoplifting lip gloss from the pharmacy, stealing liquor from their parents, driving drunk. Staying in Thunder Bay. Wanting to stay in Thunder Bay. All the things Finn had spent years warning her about.

But Finn warning her about something only made her want to do it more. For Nicki there is no such thing as a mistake. She runs headlong into the fire, basking in the burn.

She should get Dallas to drop her off a few streets before the hospital, but she’s got her heels on and it’s raining, of course, great big spitwads of water pummelling the roof of the car. “Over here,” she says to Dallas, pointing to the entrance of the emergency department. “Just pull up to the door. You don’t have to park or anything.” With three kids and two aging parents she knows these hallways as well as the hallways in her own home, knows which doors lead to which tragedies, knows what to say, who to say it to.

The entrance is covered with an awning – thank god for small mercies – and Nicki pulls Dallas’s shirt tighter around her as she mentally prepares herself to get out of the car. “Well,” she says. “It’s been…fucked up.”

“Yeah,” says Dallas. “I hope your mom’s okay.”

“Yeah,” says Nicki.

They both sit there staring straight ahead, listening to the rain hammering against the awning, the low buzz of the radio. Finally, when she realizes Dallas isn’t going to say anything else, she gets out of the car. At the entrance, she sees Finn standing just inside the sliding glass doors, watching her. Nicki straightens her skirt, lifts her head, and saunters towards the door. But as she gets closer, she realizes it’s not her that Finn is watching, it’s Dallas, her eyes trained on him all puppy-dog and sad even as her sister walks towards her wearing her boyfriend’s shirt over last night’s dress, even as she comes through the door with a lazy half smile on her face, close enough for Finn to see the mats in her hair, the bite marks on her neck, a perfect image of freshly fucked bliss. Still Finn stares at Dallas, and when Nicki turns around she sees Dallas is staring at Finn, that they are having a conversation with just their eyes – a conversation that Nicki is locked out of.

She walks right up to Finn and cracks her gum. Finn blinks twice and finally looks at her.