It seemed she had finally decided she wanted to discuss the heart of the matter. At this point, though, it really didn’t make any difference, as nothing was going to change. At least, that was my conviction.

Misaki was smiling a fake smile that would have made anyone seeing it nervous. It was an uncertain, manufactured smile that touched only her lips, unnaturally pulling them upward.

She began, “The initial premise is that there’s no way anyone could end up liking someone like me.”

“You really think that?”

“It’s been like that since I was born. It was so bad that my mother and father hated me, and it was even worse with other people.”

I didn’t have any response.

“My uncle and aunt took me in, but I just create problems for them, too. Their relationship is getting worse, and they say they want to divorce soon. It’s all my fault, and I’m really sorry about it.”

“You’re just thinking about it too much.”

“No, I’m not”, she said. “I probably was born useless, and normal people won’t have anything to do with me. Eventually, everyone starts hating me and, because of me, everyone starts feeling bad. I have actual evidence that what I’m saying is true.”

Misaki rolled up her sleeves. Holding out her arms, she made me look at them. Many, many sad scars from old burns marred her white skin.

“It was my second father. I don’t even remember his face. He drank continuously. While he drank, his mood would improve—but even when he was in a good mood, he always was getting angry at me, burning me with cigarettes.” She said all this, her bright smile unwavering.

“I was even scared of school and couldn’t go. Of course, I was scared… There was no way I could fit in with everyone else. I was terrified. Because if they were normal people, they were absolutely sure to start hating someone like me.”

“What about the people at your church?”

“Those are good people. Everyone there is pretty normal, and they’re forking their hardest. So, of course, they won’t have anything to do with me.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Finally, I was able to find someone more worthless than I was: A really worthless person. A totally worthless person—the kind you can’t find just anywhere. Someone who can’t look people in the eye when speaking, who is unbearably afraid of others. Someone who lives among the dregs of society, a person whom even I could look down on.”

“Who was it?”

“Satou.” Her words were exactly what I expected.

Then, Misaki pulled a sheet of scrap paper from her bag and handed it to me. It was the second contract.

I felt unsure what I should do. The sun was nearly beneath the horizon, and the number of people walking around the park had shrunk considerably.