“Our reason and instinct are in opposition, but we can’t get rid of either one. Given that, what are we meant to do? Compromise appropriately and start trying to date girls? Get married and try having kids? That is, after all, the conventional path. However, I discovered… Women… those things just aren’t human. Instead, they may, in fact, be closer to monsters. About a year ago, I realized the truth. While I was working at a convenience store to earn my tuition, all kinds of things happened. They’re really terrible memories, and I don’t want to think about them anymore.” Having said all this in one breath, Yamazaki look a second beer from my fridge.

Before I could stop him, he opened the pull tab and guzzled it down in one swallow.

Suddenly, he screamed, “Women are crap! Screw women!”

Yamazaki’s face was alarmingly red. He already seemed to be drunk. He gets drunk quickly yet keeps drinking all the time, anyway. I once wondered if he might not be a budding alcoholic; then, at some point, he explained, “My family home in Hokkaido was a wine factory. I’ve been drinking since I was in middle school. Don’t worry about me—I’m totally fine!”

I wasn’t sure which part of him was totally fine. Once Yamazaki got drunk, he wouldn’t stop his tirades until he ran out of steam, even if you yelled or ignored him. I’d learned this the hard way.

I had no idea what to do with him.

Then, he seemed to deflate; his shoulders dropped with his voice. “Women are crap. There are still times when I’d like to date a girl, though. I’m human, after all, and that can’t be helped… Anyway, I had another terrible experience. There was the cutest girl in my class. Her name was Nanako. At my school, where otaku girls from around the country gather, she alone had a decent-looking face. I don’t even have to tell you that I’m rather good looking myself. My delicate body and attractive features got me picked on and teased by the girls in grade school—now, though, I figured that my good looks had to be advantageous.

“I said to Nanako ‘Let’s go out!’ She replied, ‘Sorry, Yamazaki, but you’re kind of, you know… On top of that, I’m dating Kazuo.’

"What do you mean by ‘you know’? What am I ‘kind of’? And by Kazuo, you mean that greasy guy? I… I went out of my way to confess my feelings for you politely, so what’s this all about?!”

Yamazaki waved both arms around, shouting, “Know your place, you bitch! I mean, you could at least let me do you! Don’t screw around with me!”