In fact, I was confident that if an “International Hikikomori Olympics” were to take place, I would score pretty well. I was certain I would beat out other hikikomori regardless of country, whether it was a Russian hikikomori who escaped through vodka, an English hikikomori whose escape was through drugs, or an American hikikomori who found escape by randomly shooting guns indoors.

Right! The famous founder of kyokushin karate,[5] Mr. Masutatsu Ohyama, also known as the “Godhand,” supposedly holed up in the mountains during his youth in order to hone his spirit before going on to become the world s strongest karate master. If you think about it from that standpoint, then I—who have been holed up continuously in this apartment for a number of years—must be, at this very moment, incredibly close to becoming the strongest man in the world.

Well, it was worth a try. I decided to set up a beer bottle and try to break it with a chop of the hand.

“Hiii-ya!”

While wrapping my bloodied right hand in a bandage, I sat back down at the kotatsu.

Any way you looked at it, my mind hadn’t been working properly of late. Could it be because I get sixteen hours of sleep per day? Or was it because I’d avoided contact with other people for more than half a year?

All day long, my brain remained in a fog. Even when I walked to the bathroom, my gait was unsteady.

But I didn’t care about all that.

The more immediate problem was how to break out of this helpless hikikomori lifestyle.

Yes! I have to escape this festering hikikomori life as fast as possible. A return to human society! A rebound from dropping out! I’ll work, find a girlfriend, and lead a normal life!

If I continue this way, I will become a trauma victim. If I continue like this, I will be disqualified as a human being. I need a resolution right now!

Resolutions, however—such as “Today is the day I go outside and make myself find a part-time job!”—just faded away like mist, in fewer than ten minutes.

Why? Why is this?

Probably my ridiculously long life as a hikikomori had rotted away the very roots of my spirit.

I can’t go on like tins. I must do something quickly.

At that point, I decided that in order to force my thoroughly weakened spirit to recover, I would try taking some of the White Drug I ordered online.

Even though it’s called White Drug, it’s not a major stimulant or anything. It’s a perfectly legal, relatively powerful hallucinogen. However, although legal, it’s said to have nearly the same effect as LSD. It acts directly on the serotonin receptors in the brain and reputedly causes unbelievably intense visions.