Either way, that girl would be a college student while I remained a freeter and a hikikomori.

Ah, I can’t take it. Go to hell, all of you!

They say that curses come home to roost. So, I forced my feelings back down and tried wishing for everyone’s happiness, “Even if you fall into hell, keep trying, all of you.”

I, too, planned on trying, little by little.

The reason for that was on a scrap of paper I had here.

It was a contract, made from a page ripped out of the secret notebook. To fulfill the contract, I had no choice but to try.

That night…

I had jumped, and then I’d landed abruptly. I had landed on top of the wire netting set up around the cliff to prevent accidents. The frame had been buried into the rocky cliff itself, making a hook shape. As expected for a sightseeing spot, they had gone out of their way to mount the fence in such a way that the beautiful view was left unspoiled. And as expected for a sightseeing spot, there was absolutely no fault to be found with the safety measures.

I wanted to cry.

I cried.

I wanted to die, but I couldn’t die. If I could step out with only one foot, then this time, I could fly for sure. It was impossible. I couldn’t do it. Both of my legs were shaking violently, and the sound of my heart beating was ridiculously loud. I felt terrible, I was nauseated, and I didn’t want to be there anymore.

I was crying out for someone to do something. I was crying that I wanted to die. Kill me right now, I thought. I wished for someone to push me.

I didn’t want to go home and shut myself up in my apartment, and I didn’t want to see Misaki’s face. I didn’t want to think about anything confusing, and I didn’t want to experience any more pain. I just wanted to die right then.

I scratched my head, curled up my body, and then I bent backward. It was humorous and pathetic. I looked like an idiot. Each time the wind blew, I dropped to all fours and clung to the fence. I was frightened. I was scared of falling. I got chills just from looking downward.

Below the netting was the Sea of Japan. The waves were rough. Help me! No, don’t help me. Don’t laugh at me. What should I do? Don’t screw around with me! Don’t look! Don’t look over here! Why are you crying? I’m the one who wants to cry.

Misaki stuck her face out over the edge of the cliff and looked down at me.

I covered my face with both hands. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want any more disgrace in my life.