Oh yes, it was actually obscene. Mulling it over carefully, I saw that its obscenity made it extremely wonderful indeed.

For example, an image popped into my mind of a young girl being spanked by a strict, older nun. This image was followed by salacious scenes from the witch trials that would later occur. And finally, a violent torture session took place in a stone-floored basement. The inquisitor would say, “I’ll find out if you are really a witch”, and then he’d prepare the triangular punishment horse! “With a whip?!” Smack! Smack! Smack! “Not yet?! Not yet?! Not yet?!” Smack! Smack!” Ahhh! I beg your mercy! Spare me! Please, forgive me!” However, no one listens to her appeals, and this seemingly endless banquet of indignities keeps escalating and escalating without end!

Fantastic!

Satisfaction!

A standing ova—

“Urn…”

Suddenly, I realized that the older woman standing right in front of me was staring at me. She anxiously inquired, “Are you all right?”

My runaway fantasies about the religious girl had hijacked my attention, not to mention my emotions. For a little while, even casual observers could see how absentminded and odd I was.

What the hell?

I desperately tried to shift to a resolute attitude.

“Ahem, ahem.” I cleared my throat.

Then, like a very, very normal young person, and without letting my ryes drift in the wrong direction, I gave the older woman as intelligent a glance as I could manage.

Sure, I was clearly shaken. This, I admit.

However, having already regained emotional control, there were no longer any cracks in my armor left open to attack. After all, there was no need for me to be so flustered. I had only to reply, “Yes, I’m fine”, as I shoved the two pamphlets back at her, and this whole thing would be over.

But because of my extremely long time as a hikikomori, my ability to communicate with others had deteriorated to nearly the lowest level possible, which was the real reason I was so shaken by all this.

Calm down. Calm down! Say it. Just utter that one phrase, “Yes, I’m fine.” Right. I’ll say it in just a second. Yes, this time I’ll really say it.

Most likely, it had been so long since I’d talked with anyone that my voice would sound rather hollow. The words coming out of my mouth, at least, would probably sound hollow. It was even possible that I might stutter accidentally. But why should that matter, anyway?

After all, it wasn’t likely that I would ever meet this woman or the girl again. Whatever they thought of me shouldn’t matter. Who cared if they found me odd or disturbing? That’s why I needed to say it. I needed to refuse their conversion outright!

Just say, “Yes, I’m fine!”

I’ll say, “Yes, I’m fine!”

“Yes, I…”