“It’s the struggle of the soul against materialism.”

“And what role does death play in this struggle?” he asked with a broadening grin.

“It’s the soul’s final victory,” I answered confidently.

“If things were only that simple.” He patted my shoulder. “You need a lot more experience. Find out what interests people and what arouses them. I’d strongly advise you to plunge into life, taste it to the full, and wait for at least another ten years.”

His words made me retreat even further within myself. He imagined that I’d been sheltered from temptation! Perhaps he was ignorant of what was going on in our house. And ignorant as well of the struggle in an adolescent soul, the unabating conflict of lust and loftiness, the battle in the mind between the erotics of Omar Khayyam and the epic romance of Magnun Layla, divided by the same contrast as between Tahiya, the wanton in the room upstairs, and the vision of her that haunted the imagination, or as between dirt strewn on the ground and banks of white clouds floating in the sky.

Strange things were going on in the room next to Tariq’s. The old furniture had been sold, replaced by beautiful new things bought at a public auction. A table covered with green baize stood in the center on a large carpet that had been laid over the Masarany tiles, and against the middle wall was a buffet. These were mysterious preparations. When I asked Mother she said, “Your father is getting it ready to spend his evenings there with friends and colleagues, as all men do.” I stared at her suspiciously, the very mention of Father filling me with misgiving. “They’ll spend the rest of the night here after the theater closes,” she added.

I got into the habit of crouching in my room in the dark so that I could see things.

The truth of what was going on in our house could only be seen at night. These friends used to arrive very late. I would watch them come dribbling in—first Father, then al-Hilaly, Ismail, Salim al-Agrudy, Fuad Shalaby, Tariq, and Tahiya—then I’d sneak up to the top floor in the darkness. They would be seated around the table and the cards would already have been dealt.