In my eyes at that moment he was transformed into a beast. The happy dream I’d had for so long was shattered. I retreated to my room, there to conjure up the whole panorama of a play that began with Tariq’s eviction from the house and ended with my father’s rehabilitation—as a result of my efforts, naturally. I told myself that good would still triumph if he could only find someone to help him.

But conditions went from bad to worse. He became more withdrawn; the father I had known no longer existed, and in his new personality he cut himself off from us on every occasion except when his anger was aroused for whatever reason. Then he would rain down curses and insults on us. I began to be afraid of him and kept my distance. Mother was miserable and didn’t know what to do. “My salary isn’t enough for the household,” she told him once.

“So go butt your head against a wall!” he said.

We were certainly no longer living as we used to, spending much less and eating very simply. Food and money didn’t interest me, but how was I going to buy books? It is unfortunate that the life of the soul cannot do without money. The most terrible blow, however, was that I had lost my father. Where was the man he’d once been? The look in my eyes seemed to anger him. “You’re a poor specimen, not fit for life,” he’d tell me. Things between him and mother deteriorated to the extent that they each went their own way and had separate rooms. Our home was disintegrating and we were living as strangers under the same roof. My mother’s fate was hard for me to bear. In my mind sprang a scene revolving around a fight between Father and Tariq: Father kills Tariq and is arrested, and as he’s leaving he turns to me and says, “If I had only listened to what you said,” after which the old house regains its purity. Later, of course, I felt remorse for the cruelty of my imagination.

I asked Mother, “How do you manage to make ends meet all by yourself?”

“I sell little things. Pay attention to your work. You’re the only hope we have left.”

“My heart is with you.”

“I realize that, son, but the time hasn’t yet come for you to bear our burdens. You must study, to get a good job.”

“My ambition is to become a playwright.”

“A profession that won’t guarantee you security.”

“I scorn material possessions. You understand my nature.”

“You may hate materialism, Abbas, but don’t try to ignore it altogether.”

“Good will triumph, Mother,” I assured her fervently.