He looks at me. “Don’t you see? That’s what it’s like for me. I was that fisherman who went out to fish in the night sea. I gathered up my words. I was so sure I could move the immigration people. But it didn’t work. They can’t hear my story.”

I start to cry. “I hear your story.”

He tightens his fingers around me. “I know, mi amor. I know.”

“Mi amor,” I repeat. The words blow through me. Mine.

Everything seems to be melting: The sun is tipping lower in the sky, spreading across the ground in a gold glow. The smell of old grass and dirt hovers over us. Carlos slaps his knees, stands, holds out his hand. I take it and we head down the old cow path.

Chapter Eighteen

They agree to let us do it our way. A million instructions. Text. Call. Check in. See Rachel, says the woman at the Buffalo place. They install the app that tracks where we are. At first, they wanted to arrange for an escort, but then Carlos begged, “Please, Ms. Jayne, let us have our time.” He draped his arm around my shoulders. “I need to say goodbye to my love. Mi amor.”

My cheeks flamed, embarrassed that he’d said it in front of everyone!

Jayne’s lips twitched into a laugh. “I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.” She sighed. “I’ve been there. I remember what it’s like to be young.” She winked. “And in love.”

But they don’t know. Not really. They don’t know what it’s like to be us, kids and not kids. To play in a barn with Kamal and yet sink into the cool shadows of memory. To kiss and hold Carlos, touch his hand, have his drawings pinned to my walls. To want time to go as slow as honey; that we could run and stay in place at the same time. Carlos is the only one in the whole world who gets what it is to be already grown-up and just seventeen at the same time.

It’s a straight shot—six hours on a highway—and Jayne has already called ahead to make sure that we can stay there overnight. We’re going to a safe house where people get help to file their claim in Canada. Everyone says Carlos’s case will be easier than most, so we’ll drive there, and then Kamal and I will turn around the next day and come back to the sanctuary. Kamal’s strapped into his booster seat, happy because we stopped for snacks before turning onto the highway. At his feet is an insulated bag with sandwiches and bottles of Vitamin Water.