Danny What? Nah. You got a steady job, good prospects, you’re doing something you love. Ted
Charlotte I spend my life trying to keep fourteen-year-olds from sending each other pictures of their cocks.
Danny ’Svery important. If anyone’s alright out of the three of us, it’s you, Charlotte.
Ted We have had some good times though, ain’t we? All us lot. I mean, I don’t remember exactly what happened or anything. But we did though, didn’t we?
Danny Yeah. We had a right laugh.
Ted And it’s good, innit? Have a night out, feels better than I remember. God, I feel, I feel great. It’s lovely. It feels lovely.
Danny Well, you deserve it, mate. You work hard, don’t ya?
Ted Yeah. I do, you know. I do.
Danny Well, have a night out then.
Ted And it’s not like I ain’t got plans.
Charlotte What are your plans, Ted?
Ted Well, you know, I got lots of plans. Shit, actually, you know, well, loads. I make plans all the time. I mean, we could have a plan together, couldn’t we?
Danny Like what?
Ted Well, I been thinking about a business. My own business, get a start up loan or one a them …
Charlotte What kind of business?
Ted Oh, something. You know. What do we need? Now? What do we need that we can’t get?
Danny Delivery booze.21
Ted Ah! Genius! Perfect that. Fuckin’ right on the fuckin’ nose, bang on the money, perfect. Absolutely fuckin’ yes, mate. Twenty-four hour delivery booze, cold beers, curly straws in your cocktail, little sparklers. That’s it. We’re in business.
Danny Let’s do it then, shall we?
Ted Yeah, we’ll get one a them vans, like a burger van, but it’ll be a bar, dead swish. We’ll wear dickie bows. And we’ll pull up outside whatever house ordered the booze, and bish bash bosh. There you go.
Danny Mate, we could make a mint.
Ted We could call it Bar Bros.
Danny Who’s Barbara?Ted No, like Bar Brothers.Danny That’s a shit name.
Ted I know, but all names are shit when you come up with them; takes a while, don’t it, to sink in.
Danny We should call it wine wine wine, like 999.
Ted That’s fuckin’ shit.
Danny Better than bar bros.
Charlotte We should call it Drink Drivers.
Danny That’s wicked! What about Pissed Stop. Like pit stop.
Ted Definitely not calling it pissed stop.
Charlotte Wait. Wait … I got it … We should call it – Van Rouge. Like, Vin Rouge.22
Ted Well, whatever, point is, I wanna do so much. That’s what it is. There’s so much I wanna do, and when it hits you. Like, I swear, the other day, we had it all to come, didn’t we? And now, I hardly see you, but I love you. Pair of you. I love you both. So much. And, I want you to be happy. You know. Both of you. Together.
Charlotte We love you too, Ted. You’re lovely.