She returns from the bathroom and glances around the room, presumably noticing my absence. Grabbing some clothes, she reenters the bathroom. Is she locking the door to keep the monster out? She should. The absence of her in my line of sight makes me feel strangely desperate, but I sit and wait.

She comes out, looking fresh and gorgeous in a short yellow sundress with red strawberries that look painted on. Those round bug-glasses I ribbed her for sit above her head. I stare at my phone, making her think she’s far from my mind’s eye.

She steps onto the balcony. “I’m leaving.” Silence descends as she turns on a gold sandal.

I nod, although she can’t see me. Not that I deserve her eyes.

A man wearing a captain’s hat stands on a boat, waving us over. Even though I insisted we didn’t need a guide, Vincent wouldn’t budge.

“This way, we’ll enjoy ourselves without worrying about where we’re going,” he tells me over the ridiculously nice breakfast buffet, complete with a section of rare fresh fruits and cheeses, an entire spread of breads that would rival any bakery, and a section of different salads.

An omelet station stands to the left where a chef is ready to make any egg concoction one could dream of. Of course, there is also a menu to order from, if you don’t feel like getting up. The excess can be fun when in the right mindset, but sometimes, it’s straight-up sickening. Just imagining the waste of this hotel while the world hungers makes my anger rise.

Lauren eats a cucumber, tomato salad on the left side of her plate and scrambled egg whites with spinach and feta cheese on the right. She drinks her coffee hot with a drop of skim milk and no sugar. My behavior is obsessive, even for a man like me who is always paying attention to everything. But I can’t stop myself.

“Hey there!” the captain greets us, white linen shirt bright against his leather-tanned skin. His voice shakes me back into the moment. “I’m Randy. My boat is ready for you. We got bodyboards, tubes, and water skis.” He shakes each of our hands.

Eve jumps up and down, unable to contain her excitement, while Vincent smiles like he won the goddamn lottery. Making Eve happy is his kryptonite. Lauren smiles wide, too. I’ll never be the one to make her smile like that; I can’t be. The thought is the ultimate in sobering. And yet, each time she blinks, my fixation with her grows.

The happy couple gets on first, Vincent’s arm wrapped around his tiny wife. I step onto the speedboat after them, putting out my hand to help Lauren on. She might hate me, but I don’t want her falling. The boat shakes, but she refuses to take what I’m offering. I should be glad. Whatever it takes to get her to move on is a good thing. This is what I wanted, and this is what I got.