“Oh, that’s great, Slade. You’re silent? Screw you.”

“Lauren, come on.”

Her jeans come on first and then her bra and top. I can do nothing but watch her redress.

We both make our way back to the front seat, and I bring her back to the hotel in silence. I can feel her angry thoughts stewing, but there is no defense. At least, none that I’m willing to say out loud. I can barely speak the truth to myself.

When I pull up to the hotel, she unbuckles her belt. “I’ve always been honest. I understand you aren’t interested in me long-term. I knew it when you didn’t call after the wedding. I’m a big girl who can handle sex without strings, but I won’t be disrespected or treated like a girl you just want to fuck in your backseat and dump. It’s never been me, and it won’t be me. It’s a line I won’t cross.”

I grip the steering wheel and face forward, not wanting to see the look on her face when I deliver the truth. “All I’ve got to give is this. If you don’t like it, there’s nothing I can do.”

“So, now what?” Her words are final but also questioning.

She wants me to fight for her or change my mind, but it won’t happen. It can’t. We haven’t known each other too long, but we’ve been through a lot together. She deserves more than a quick fuck in the back of my car. But she also deserves a decent life, and that’s something I can’t give her while my head is in this state. My mind is made.

“Now, nothing.”

When I look at her large eyes, filled with hurt, my chest freezes. Right now, Lauren’s almost childlike. She’s so trusting and open, waiting for me to change my mind.

I want to yell, Don’t trust me! Don’t come close to me! I’ll hurt you. But I don’t. Instead, the warning sits on my tongue like bitter acid.

After a moment of hesitation, she leaves.

I slam my hand on the steering wheel, cursing as she runs into the hotel—away from me, as she should. Suddenly, my anger starts to blow. I want to break something! I slam my hands down over and over again, yelling like a lunatic. Part of my mind knows this is crazy and irrational, but I can’t stop myself.

With shaking hands, I take three pills from my glove compartment and swallow them dry, needing to calm down. There is no other way.

8

Slade

The hotel is the epitome of rest and relaxation. The only colors around us are white and cream. Oh, and beige. Who can forget good old beige? And, at the rate I’m being asked if I want a hot towel, cold towel, or my bags taken, it’s clear there are at least three staff for every guest here.

For a fact, Vincent hates this shit. But he’s got it in his mind to take Eve to the best places in the world. Apparently, it’s something he swore to do a long time ago.