“Gotta get permission from Joe.” My voice comes out strong and sure.

He laughs. The motherfucker actually cackles at me like I’m some brownnoser.

“Joe knows what I do. If he told you to work with me, it’s because he knows you can take a punch.” He looks me up and down as though he’s estimating my weight.

“Two-oh-five.” I crack my knuckles as he moves to tape his. “Don’t.” I gesture to the white roll in his hands. “It’ll weaken your grip.”

He looks up at me in silence before nodding. He places the tape by the grimy window and enters the ring. He’s bouncing from foot to foot while I confirm with Joe, who shrugs and tells me it’s my own life.

It’s on.

I pull my shirt off, and he does the same. His shoulder is tatted up with the infamous Borignone insignia, surrounded by an intricate tribal design. We go at it, and I get some good punches in.

I fuckin’ love this. Boy is a beast, but it’s a damn good thing I am, too. I’m in my element, smiling as my body starts to pound from the grind, the motions natural.

Minutes later, and we’re both soaked in sweat.

“Holy fuck, man.” He drops his hands to his knees, panting. “You’re good. Where’d you learn to fight?”

I throw him a towel. “Navy.”

Moving to the water cooler, I pour myself a swallow. He follows behind me.

“Vincent.”

He puts out his hand to shake, knuckles red and angry. I take it.

I walk to higher ground, remembering how it only took a month for Vincent and me to become good friends. Vincent took a chance on me when I was lost, offering me a job any guy on the SEAL Teams would have killed for—head of security at the soon-to-be-famous Milestone. The opportunity spurred me into action, causing me to reconnect with Rob and Mike. The three of us started VST, the Vulcan Security Team. We have plans to expand our operations beyond the Milestone, but with my head all fucked up like this, that obviously can’t happen anymore. This job grounded me for a while though. Kept me straight and focused.

Finding a tall and flat rock about a mile uphill, I sit. It’s time to face the haunting truth. I’m here, but I’m also still there. Building my career at the Milestone kept me afloat, but that’s done.

And then Lauren … I thought maybe I could make it work. For just a little while at least, she’d be mine. When I was with her, my hurt was washed down and shrunken. Her beauty and intelligence. We had something. That’s ruined now, too.

I’m taking drugs to stay buoyant, but what for? What’s even left for me here?

I pull on the ends of my cropped hair before screaming out at the top of my lungs, my skin breaking out again in perspiration. What’s the point in waiting? I’m exhausted and humiliated. Out of my mind. I’ve got … no one left. I break down, crying and cursing the earth. Staring down at the gun in my palm, I know what I need to do.