I turn to my right, and I hiss from the stinging pain.

In his warm home, he brings me into his bathroom and wipes down my back with a washcloth dipped in hot water and soap before covering my abrasions with Neosporin. Gathering me into his chest, he brings me into his bed and tucks me into his sheets. I haven’t said a word since we got here, but he doesn’t seem to notice. When I’m set, he puts his shoes back on.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. Do you need anything else?”

I shake my head. And then he leaves. I curl into the fetal position in his bed, smelling his sheets when I finally break down and cry.

18

Slade

I get back into the truck, cursing. I’m a total fuckup. Even when I’m straight, I continue to hurt her. I tore up her back, for Christ’s sake! What’s wrong with me? Speeding back to the Mile, I ask myself what it is I think I’m doing with a woman like her. My head pounds as my demons begin talking over one another. I need to go back home, have a few drinks, and take more pills if I’m going to survive another night. With a shaking hand, I flip open my glove compartment and take out three. I’m not sure which ones they are, but whatever. Just need something to numb my brain.

What are my options? I could tell her why I take them, so she can stay in safety. I can just be honest, tell her what’s going on in my head, and stop the hiding and the lying. But do I trust her to keep my secret? If she tells Eve and Eve tells Vincent, my career is done. Vincent is my best friend, but after Eve, work will always come first. He’s ruthless when it comes to cutting shit that’s bad for business. Why would I be different? No. I slam the steering wheel. I’ll keep popping the pills. They’ll keep me afloat until this issue I’ve got disappears on its own. I have about a month’s supply right now. That’s enough. It’s got to be.

I pull back into the restaurant, my eyes not far from this asshole Alexander. I know exactly who he is. Before Vincent gave him the lease to open Hook, I did a full background check. Vincent only wants the cleanest businessmen involved in the Mile.

In addition to Hook, he owns restaurants all over the United States and abroad. He’s also in the club business. Never been married. Went to NYU. Began with small club promotions and slowly built up his own brand. The guy is completely kosher, and I want to wring his goddamn neck. He’s exactly who Lauren should be with. Successful. Good-looking. And fucking sane.

I’m looking around the room, heart pumping wildly.

“You doing good?” Vincent asks, eyes lowered. He sees something’s up with me.

“Yep. I’m going to watch the back entrance for a while.” I move away, walking the perimeter of the restaurant until I find a nice dark corner to watch the crowd.