I hum my assent as he lets out the breath he was holding. We have to talk about this, but I want to think it all over before I speak. I care for Slade more than I have any right to. Still, I don’t want to lose this time we have. I’ve got to just get out of this house as quickly as possible.

“I’m going to grab my stuff?” It’s a comment, but I’m so nervous that it comes out like a question.

He nods, and I scurry into the bedroom, gathering my things like a bandit.

The drive back to the Mile is quiet. He sits and waits in his truck as I run upstairs to the room to wash up and change. I use a shower cap—no time to wash my hair. Dry shampoo will have to be enough. Quick makeup. Black shift dress. A nice pair of black heels. When I come back downstairs and into the parking lot, he’s smoking against his truck. I wait, watching his movements. He looks as though he’s deep in thought, staring at the mountains. When he’s done with the cigarette, he takes out another. How many has he had? I could swear that, each day, his smoking increases. I pull out my phone. Should I tell him I’m getting a ride with Eve? With tentative steps, I walk toward him. It’s just a ride. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.

“Hey.” I wave, making sure he sees and hears me from a decent distance.

He nods, opening my door and throwing the cigarette stub onto the floor, stepping on it. I climb in. Again, the ride is quiet. His strong hand holds the gear, gripping it so firmly that I can see the flexion in his muscular and veiny forearms.

“I’ll come get you from the Center at six to bring you back to the Mile.” His voice is firm and nonnegotiable. He’s the warrior right now, in complete control. He pulls up in front of the newly built stucco Center. “The opening of Hook is tonight. I’ll have to work during it, but I’ll pick you up from your room at nine and walk you down.”

I turn to him to reply. I want to tell him that we should take a night off from seeing each other. I want to scream, You pulled a gun on me! What the fuck?

Before I can get a word out, he grabs me and kisses me.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” Kiss. “I won’t ever do it again.” Kiss. “I lost control, but I’ve got this. Just wasn’t used to having a woman by my side.” He tightly holds me as though, with sheer will, he can erase the memory of what I witnessed this morning.

All my words and nerves are swallowed in his mouth, which begs me not to let us end. I find myself pressing inside his chest, simultaneously wanting to run and yet never wanting to let go.