“I’m fidgety, because there are more important things than being beautiful.”

“Oh?” She lifted a thick eyebrow in a perfect arch, pursing her ruby-red lips as she tugged a loose string from my shoulder. “And those would be?”

“Whether Nasu was successful in his mission, for one.”

“Do you think he got them to come?”

“I hope so. Plus, my healing tent is low on burdock root, and I cannot continue to treat Iltani without it.”

“You’d worry about your work on a day like today?” She frowned as she reached up, adjusting the blooms around my head. “A day centered on love?”

“It’s not my work. It’s my friend. Iltani is as glib as ever, but giving up the drink has been difficult for her.”

She pursed her lips as she fussed with my hair. “She certainly doesn’t seem like she’s struggling. She works day and night in the Libbu with the merchants!”

“The burdock root helps the shake in her hands, but she suffers whether she appears to or not. She was sad in Manzazu. Missed her family terribly. And now after being forced into marriage, she realizes she’s not infallible. That’s been difficult for her to accept.”

“Well, hopefully Nasu gets some more from that new Manzazu healer, and you can wipe that worry line from between your brows.” Nanaea met my eyes.

I smiled. “I promise I will relax.”

Impulsively, I pulled her to me in a quick hug. She’d been my partner these last moons, helping me set up things in the healing tent, and getting Bikku, my new assistant, started while building a dancing troupe for Arwia’s Palace, too.

I released her but held her at arm’s length. “You know you’ve been my solace since we won the city back. I couldn’t have done all this without you.”

“I know.” She winked and picked a pot off the table by Dagan’s pallet, and dabbed something on my cheeks. “It’s about time you realized how great of a sister I really am.”

Laughing, I wiggled out from underneath her fussing hands, and adjusted my tunic around my hips. She’d sewn it too tight at the waist, and I wanted to feast and dance and laugh until the stars came out, and this gown would only restrict my movements.

“You’re certain I can’t wear something else? This is tight!”

She adjusted our ummum’s shawl around her elbows. “It fit you fine a moon ago—”

“Well, not today. Shiptu has been feeding us well.” Just this morning, she’d treated us to roasted duck and eggs cooked hot and sizzling. Fresh honeycakes and sweetwine. Finally, finally, I was beginning to feel stronger. Healthier.

The door squeaked open and Kasha and Rish tumbled in, laughing, both of them scrubbed clean in brilliant red tunics, though Rish had a smear of fig jam across his tawny cheeks. He wiped it off with his hand. His only hand. I sent the forlorn thought away, putting it in a box where I kept my failures and my disappointments. My ummum’s death. His arm. Warad. Iltani’s forced marriage. I brought them out from time to time like old cloaks to take a good look and shake out the moths, but I’d tuck them back away for another day of examination. Maybe one day, I’d open it up and set fire to the contents, and finally, finally forgive myself for the harm I’d caused.