I cast around for our missing gold, but I don’t sense it anywhere. I’d bet all the hay in our barn that Hiram took it to get assayed already. He probably used some of it to pay our debt to Free Jim and then put the rest in the bank. There’s no way I’m getting it back now.

“How do you feel about wearing a saddle again?” I say to Peony. It’s been years since she’s worn anything but a soft halter for riding; I’ve always been able to direct her with my knees. But a trip across the continent will demand a lot more of us, and I’ll need finer control and a firmer seat.

It’s tempting to take the wagon; I could carry more, and Peony is used to that bridle and harness. But if Hiram knows what I can do, he’ll come after me, for sure and certain. I’ll travel so much faster on horseback.

I stumble against Peony with a sudden realization, my knees threatening to betray me. I’m the reason he killed my parents. He wants me. Or rather, my gold sense.

I should leave. Right now. No, tonight when Hiram is sleeping. Maybe I can still catch up with Jefferson. My heart squeezes at the thought. In the space of a week, I’ve lost my parents, my home, and my best friend. But if I catch up to Jeff, I’ll get one thing back.

Daddy has saddlebags around here somewhere. And horse blankets for winter. My neighbors left enough food to give me a fine start. I’ll bring one change of clothes, an extra canteen, Mama’s old tinderbox . . .

Thinking of Mama sends her voice into my head. Nothing slows a girl down faster than haste, she always said when she saw me hurrying my stitches.

I step away from Peony and take a long, slow breath. I need to be smart about this, not fast, and there’s no way in heaven or hell I’m making it to California with nothing but a gun, a horse, and some leftover funeral food. Jefferson, at least, could hire on as protection or even a hunter. Anyone would be glad to have him along. But I’m just a girl. Which means I need money. Enough for almost a year’s worth of supplies. I ought to hire a chaperone too, or no wagon train will have me along. I need to look neat and respectable. I need . . .

I need to be a boy.