The shadow slides deeper, questing and clawing, demanding that she give him her love. Desperate, she visualises her heart as a wooden chest. She crams her emotions inside and locks it with a key. She feels him trying to prise open the lid, but she won’t let him. Her body shakes with the effort; blood trickles from her nose. Before the wizard realises what he’s done, the girl drops to the ground, her lifeless eyes open and staring.

14

I push myself up in bed and take a deep breath. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. It was like watching a movie or reading a book, only it felt real. I knew exactly how the girl was feeling: the animal-like panic, the desperate need to hide her emotions. I don’t know why, but I feel as if I know her. And then it occurs to me. The face I saw in the bathroom mirror last night, the girl with long black hair and full lips – it’s her.

I pick up the book hoping to find answers, and my attention is drawn to the next page.

Some believe that Merlin now resides in Avalon (a place of paradise beyond this world where men do not age), ruled over by the sorceress Morgan le Fay and her sisters.(3)

I glance down at the footnote.

After he fell at the Battle of Camlann, King Arthur was taken by boat to an island by his half-sister Morgan le Fay. It’s possible that Morgan extended the invitation to Merlin also.

I turn the page, my eyes widening as I read.

Several locations have been put forward, including Bardsey Island off the west coast of Wales, which is the nearest island to Camlann on the mainland. Exactly how they entered the mystical realm is a matter of speculation. One theory suggests that a portal exists between the worlds, acting as a gateway between Earth and Avalon. Morgan and her sisters were said to live in a shining fortress, a palace made entirely of glass. A glass tower features in many stories associated with Merlin, leading some scholars to propose that the tower itself may act as a gateway. However, as a portal has yet to be found in this world, one must presume it is either invisible or does not exist.

In my vision, Merlin and the girl were in a glass tower and there was a shimmering portal. That’s where he called upon the shadows that rushed inside her. That’s where he killed her.

I turn back to the section about Merlin using demonic magic to make the girl fall in love with him, then Tom enters the room.

‘Are you getting up some time today?’

I hold up the book. ‘Why did you put it on my pillow?’

‘What?’

I wave it at him. ‘This.’