‘Everything you’ve been through – all the hurt and suffering, it’s not who you are. You don’t have to fight it; you don’t have to carry it. Feelings are real, but they are not you. Emotions are made to move through us, like the wind in the trees and tide through the sea.’

I rock back on my knees, my body moving with a will of its own. For so long, I’ve refused to let myself grieve for the things I don’t have, things that so many other people have – parents, a family, friends, a home. I’ve pushed down my emotions, afraid they’ll overwhelm me. But I can’t go on like this. If I keep it inside, it will tear me apart.

A girl with long black hair appears in my mind. Moronoe. She wipes away a tear then smiles at me and whispers, Only you can open it. Suddenly I understand. When Merlin tried to make her fall in love with him, she locked her emotions inside a chest. She had no choice; it was her only hope of surviving. She’s not here to open it any more, but I am.

I lay my hand on my heart and whisper, ‘Moronoe said only I can open it.’

Morgan looks at me quizzically. ‘Moronoe is not a separate person inside you. You are her. You have always been her – it is not Moronoe who must wake for you to become a witch. It is you who must wake to the realisation of who you are and always have been.’

I nod, feeling the truth of her words deep in the core of my being.

Morgan grips my shoulder and looks into my eyes. ‘Pain, hate, self-pity, jealousy, love, fear … whatever it is you feel, know that you are free to feel it.’

Something shifts inside me like a lid being lifted. Rage builds in my throat and I let it. Glitonea’s strong hands grip mine, steadying me as I lean up on my knees. A strangled sob escapes me and I snatch a lungful of air and scream out my pain and loneliness. My arms tremble as I lean forward, sob after sob wracking my body. I cry for myself – for the child who was abandoned, who grew up feeling she wasn’t wanted by anyone, feeling that she wasn’t good enough to be loved. I cry for my mum, knowing how painful it must have been for her to give me up.