“Avery, come on…” Cam sucked in his bottom lip, drawing my attention like he’d dangled a cheeseburger in the face of a starving frat boy. “Okay, you know what? I’m not going to rake myself over fucking hot coals for this. Fuck it.”

I flinched as I took a step to the side. Totally deserved that, but it hurt—it sliced deep.

He brushed past me, reaching the door. “Look, I’m heading home for winter break. I’ll be back and forth, so if you need anything…” He laughed again, the sound humorless as he thrust his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, you don’t need anything.”

An ache poured into my chest as I watched him pull open the door. Cam made it out into the hallway and then he turned around. “You’re staying here, all break by yourself, aren’t you? Even Christmas?”

Silent, I folded my arms across my chest.

He looked away, jaw clenching. “Whatever. Have a good Christmas, Avery.”

Cam stalked toward his apartment and I expected to hear the door slam, but didn’t and somehow that was much worse. I closed my door, my eyes already blurry. This was the right thing to happen. I kept telling myself as I backed up from the door. Brit had been wrong. There wasn’t anything to work out or fix. It was better this way. It had to be.

Except it didn’t feel that way at all.

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Two things happened on Christmas Day. My father texted me to wish me a “Merry Xmas.” Xmas. Couldn’t even type out Christmas. So personal. Love you too, Dad.

And it snowed that evening.

I hadn’t ever seen it snow on Christmas.

Caving into the tiny trill of excitement, I pulled on my jacket and a pair of thick boots and then slipped out of my apartment. Even though I knew no one was home in their apartment, not even Ollie, I glanced at their door as I reached the stairs. I wondered who was taking care of Raphael.

A heavy feeling settled in my chest as I forced myself down the steps and out from under the awning of the apartment building. Strings of multi-colored lights hung from the windows of some of the apartments. Christmas tree lights shone from others. I hadn’t put up any decorations. Didn’t seem like it made sense to go through all of that, but I had ordered myself a Christmas present.

A new messenger bag—distressed leather. A new bag for a new semester.

I don’t know where I was heading, but I found myself in the little patch of field on the other side of the last building. Fluffy white flakes already dusted the ground and were falling thickly.