But now I have new dreams about a future together. However, I stop my mind from running too fast into the future. Obviously, this is a big change for her, and I must ease her into it. I must take care of her and move slowly with everything. And most of all, I must remind myself to be more patient with her now than I have ever been with her before, as she is more likely to make mistakes which will affect me on a very personal level.

Although, at the moment, I cannot think of anything she could possibly do that would upset me. “I will have your things brought here,” I say as I mentally go through the list of changes that will be made now we are married.

“The only possessions I have in my quarters are my undergarments, my uniforms, and the grey box for my necklace,” she says matter-of-factly, touching her necklace.

I look at her in disbelief. I find it difficult to believe that she did not buy anything with her salary. “What did you spend your salary on?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” I question.

“I gambled a little with some of the other servants, but after I got the hang of the game, I usually broke even by the end of each month,” she explains.

“You bought no clothing?”

“What do I need with clothing? I have my uniforms and no other commitments to anyone but you.”

“What about food?”

“You provided me with food credits.”

“Jewelry?”

“To wear when and for whom?”

“Makeup and perfume, all those things women profess to love?” I ask.

“Don’t you like me the way I am?” she counters.

“Of course, I always have,” I say.

“Always?”

“You know it is the truth. Do not embarrass me by making me recount our history,” I say, referring to the first and only time I have seen her without clothing.

“Is a wife allowed to embarrass her husband in private on their wedding day?” she asks.

I concede and recount those moments for her. “I had never had such a terrible headache in my life. And to wake up in a disgusting farmhouse did make me wish for death a few times. But your scent of citrus and jasmine made my headache feel less painful. Your soft fingers touching my skin and the tone of your voice made me believe that if I were to die, then, at least, I would have died next to the most beautiful and decent being I had ever encountered. When you took me to bathe, I must admit, I did push you, but you amazed me with your courage. And when I saw you without clothing, to my shame, I could not control myself. You were so beautiful, and the thought of wanting to have sex overtook any sense I had.”

“Have you thought about that a lot?” she asks.

“Yes,” I admit. “Have you?”

“I undress you every day. But I think a lot about you when you watch me masturbate,” she says.