I ask to see you first. You are lying in the darkened room and I sit on the bed beside you. You do not repulse me. I feel calmer now that I know the wild rantings Leonard has witnessed are over. I put my hand on your shoulder and make you promise you will try to eat.

We are in Savage’s waiting room when Ka phones. Leonard’s face goes pale as the nurse hands him the receiver. I guess at once what you have done.

The taxi plunges through crowded streets. We go over the details of Ka’s message. As soon as we arrive Leonard throws open the door and hurries inside the house. I follow slowly to your room. I know even before Leonard finds the empty phial that it is pointless trying to wake you.

The doctors work through the night. We are not allowed to see you. I sit on a chair in the drawing room and stare into the fire.

I cannot bear the thought of life without you.

6

THE SUN STREAMS THROUGH THE WINDOW. I SHIFT round in bed and turn to face the light. As I open my eyes I see the russet and gold of the apple leaves outside. I lie still for a moment and listen to the sounds inside the house. All is quiet. I think of Duncan, asleep in the next room. I get out of bed and slide my feet into slippers, wrapping a shawl round my shoulders. The apple trees dance in the breeze outside, a living mosaic. I go downstairs and put the kettle on the hob.