I nod to Jinx. I skim through the letters, feeling like I’m intruding on something private between my parents, but also desperate to see something concrete of my dad. I read about his desire to be an engineer, wanting to make a difference in the world. Always pushing himself to work harder. I rub my fingers against his old engineering ring, which I wear on my thumb. It’s a tradition that newly qualified engineers wear an iron ring on their pinkie finger (but his is too big for mine). The story says the iron came from a collapsed bridge. It’s worn as a reminder, a symbol of the responsibilities of an engineer to their work.

No wonder Mom thinks I take after him.

It only makes me wish I knew him more. Paul’s suspicion echoes in my ears. Maybe the same thing that happened to Monica happened to my dad years ago.

Eric might have perfected the art of “disappearing” people long ago.

I always assumed Dad had just left us. Abandoned us with no hope of return. And if Mom had had any suspicions there was more to the story, she’d never shared them with me—until recently.

There’s one more thing I find in there. A little analog watch, with a leather strap. You don’t see many of them anymore. I wrap it around my wrist, pleased with the retro look.

I take the plastic bags, but I don’t bring them to the garbage chute. Instead, I decide to store this stuff in my locker. Who knows if Mom really means to throw it all away? Plus, this is my history as well as hers. Maybe looking at it is upsetting, and the update is telling her to get rid—to purge herself—of any sort of negativity. But I don’t care. I haven’t been updated yet. I want to cling onto these little slices of our history, even if doing so makes me sad.

Tears begin to roll down my cheeks. Jinx comes up to me and nuzzles his way beneath my arm. I hug him tightly to my chest.

We’re going to get my mom back if it’s the last thing we do. And there’s someone who might be able to fill in some more of the blanks. An adult who once offered me so much help.

“Jinx, do you how I can get in touch with Mr. Baird? Don’t worry—it’s not so I can give you to him!” I quickly add, remembering his reaction when Tobias mentioned our old teacher. “I think we might need his help with this.”

Jinx flicks his tail.

>>I’ll see what I can do.

20

“Zora, look at this.” I show her contents of the black bags when she’s awake.