But I also couldn’t help but wonder if maybe refusing to truly let yourself fall in love all the way wasn’t really a way to live.

“I said that maybe now that I was graduating I could finally nail you,” Mason said, breaking me out of my thoughts after lighting another cigarette. “Then I’d throw you back into Dogwood and move on to all the hot chicks on the road.” He visibly winced as he said it. Then he whispered, “Sorry. I was a stupid kid.”

That night was almost half my life ago, but even still, it stung. But his contrition helped ease the sting a little. Maybe, somewhere, way deep down, Mason had felt something for me, something that was creating a small bit of remorse now.

“Lovely,” I said. But I still wasn’t sure where he was going with this.

“Parker got up in my face and said, ‘If you ever say something like that about her again, I will end you.’ ” He shrugged and looked down at the ground. “I wasn’t worried about it; I didn’t care. My punk-ass little brother wasn’t going to take me down. After that no-hitter, I was flying as high as I had ever flown in my life. I shouldn’t have kept at it. I honestly don’t even remember what I said. But it was about you—and it set him off.” Then Mason looked back up at me, the pain in his eyes so sharp and prescient that I had to look away. “And he did. He ended me. For you.” He took a drag of his cigarette and half smiled.

I felt sick all over. My stomach, my head. Mason’s life had been ruined because of me. Parker had ended his brother’s career to defend my honor. That broken arm had changed his life. I wanted to say something to make it better, but there wasn’t anything to say. Yeah, he’d been an ass, but even an ass doesn’t deserve to have his life ruined because of a stupid insult.

“Look,” he continued. “I know he didn’t mean it. We were all drunk, and when I took that swing at him, all those boys just came at me. I shouldn’t have said it.” He paused. “And I shouldn’t have disappeared on you. It just seemed easier.”

Mortifyingly, his words put back together something that had been broken inside for nearly half my life. But I just shrugged.

“At the time it didn’t seem to matter much what I did,” he said. “But now I’ve had a couple decades to think about it, and I’ve realized that the way we treat people is really all we have. Either way, yeah, my brother ruined my life. But his got ruined worse in the end. He was defending you with his life even way back then.” He smiled cockily. “And I do mean his life. Because I could easily have killed him with my bare hands. I just thought you should know he always thought you were the one for him.”