As the brakes let out a squeal at the end of the drive, a flash of lightning illuminated the small clapboard chapel where it stood by the entrance. It was as much a part of farm life as the farm equipment in the barn, which meant it was also a witness to our downward spiral. A heavy sheet of rain moved between me and the building, obscuring my view, so I closed my eyes to it and welcomed the end that had been a long time coming.

Even though we finally made it to the end, we certainly didn’t make it out unscathed. My grip tightened around the proof of that, but a flesh wound came nowhere close to the scars that were about to be completely exposed.

The reel skipped again and now I stared at the enamel table before me. The blanket around my shoulders did nothing to ward off the tremors attacking my body. “I need to see Pa.”

A can of Coke was placed in my sight. “I just got off the phone with the hospital. They’re done sewin’ up his arms and are keepin’ him for observation for a couple of days.”

I looked up at the sheriff. “Why?”

He sat in the folding chair in front of me. “Austin, your father tried to kill himself.”

The time for lies, excuses, and omissions had come to an end, so I nodded my head in agreement.

“You said earlier that this wasn’t the first time he’s tried something like this?”

“Pa . . . he’s struggled since Mama died. Over time, it’s gotten worse.”

“Has he ever hurt one of you young’uns?”

“No, sir. Never. Just himself.” I popped the tab on the can and took a long sip to wash down some of the grit and anguish. “Sheriff Inman, you know Pa is a good man. He’s just haunted by something I don’t know how to help him overcome.” My words barely came out as my throat closed around them.

Inman patted my arm just below the bandage someone had put on my cut after we’d arrived at the police station. It was already stained red. “How about we let the doctors work on helping him, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now how about I take you on over to the hospital to let someone see about your arm. And then you can go see Dave.”

“Yes, sir.”

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Hours slipped by but the darkness outside the hospital window told me the longest night of my life wasn’t over yet. I sat by Pa’s bed, eyes zeroed in on his thickly bandaged arms. Whatever they gave him knocked him out so hard, his mouth was too slack to hold in the drool. Seeing him sleep so heavily exhausted me but my scratchy eyes refused to close.