“I was your age once, son. Had me a purty little thing I couldn’t get enough time with. Me and Edith liked to sneak away together too.” He pawed the side of his bushy beard, his stormy-blue eyes tightening with mentioning my mother. “Difference was we were husband and wife. So until your intentions are to marry my daughter, it’s best you forgo any more plans of galivanting around my farm in the middle of the night without my permission.”

Vance’s shoulders deflated in front of me as he cleared his throat. “Yes, sir. I’m real sorry for disrespecting you, Mr. Foster.”

“Apology accepted.” Pa leaned his elbows on top of his knees. The man was sitting as we stood before him, yet he still managed to crush us with his intimidation. “You owe one to my daughter, too, for talking her into staying up there with you. It sure ain’t respecting her when she told you good and well it weren’t a good idea.”

Ah, dang. He not only knew we were up there in the loft, but Pa had heard everything we’d said too. My face went up in flames while my heart galloped all the way up to my throat.

Vance turned to me, his face high in color. “Austin, I was selfish. Wanting to spend as much time with you as possible . . . I’m sorry.”

I wanted to kiss him and let him know it was okay and that he was the sweetest thing, but with Pa just a few feet away watching us like a surly hawk, I only nodded my head.

Pa stood slowly and stretched his arms over his head while releasing a weary yawn. It spoke of the enormity of his exhaustion, which only served to deepen my guilt for robbing him of any piece of sleep he could have found during the night.

Lately, life had been okay, but it wasn’t all right. No label seemed to fit just precisely to what was wrong. Like an itch you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It nagged yet eluded. Pa had been present, leading church every Sunday for the last few months. Sure, the surface looked normal, but just underneath I caught subtle glimpses of some unseen force snuffing out my father’s brilliance.

“Austin, we got a long day. Field work and chores. Then you’re taking the kids to town for haircuts.” In a rare agreeable mood, I nodded again. “Now get on inside and start breakfast. I’ll walk Vance up to the front barn, where he parks.”

The emphasis on the word parks made it clear he knew all about the other nights that we thought we were hiding Vance’s visits. It was also clear that Pa was more present and aware than his typical comatose demeanor let on.