I want a life of my own. I want to go to university and to learn. I want to travel and see the world. And for the first time, I am not afraid to make that happen. I meet Filomena’s eye and nod, once. She squeezes my hand again, and there is a world of understanding in her gaze.

“Go,” she says.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

I find Ben by the fountain. Our fountain.

He stands, looking down into the water.

“Are you all right?” I ask tentatively, placing my hand on his shoulder. He relaxes a little against my touch.

“I don’t know,” he admits and then he lets out a deep sigh. “Filomena is right. She can look after herself. I was angry. I am angry, but not at her.” He gazes down at his hands and then up at me. “I’m glad we get to see each other again, before I leave.”

I feel the ground tilt momentarily beneath me. “You’re leaving,” I repeat.

“I am,” he says. “I’m hardly going to stay and make nice with Hugh and that witch, Lady Bowling, am I?”

“But what about me?” I burst out.

“What about you?” Ben’s words are hard. “You’re leaving too, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes, I suppose.” I flounder.

“So what are we talking about then?” Ben runs an impatient hand through his hair. “Your uncle is taking you home, Bea. The summer is over. The great experiment is over.”

“But that’s not what I want.” The words are torn from me before I can think about them. “Is it what you want?”

Slowly, Ben shakes his head.

Happiness floods through me, leaving my body warm, tingling. I feel a grin spreading across my face. “You could come with me,” I say eagerly. “Come back to England with me.”

Ben laughs, but there’s no humour in it. “Oh, your family would love that, wouldn’t they? You turning up with me in tow. Your uncle already made it very clear how they would look upon any connection between us.”

“I don’t care what they think,” I say. “I’m surprised that you think I would.”

“Are you?” Ben asks, rubbing his brow in a gesture of frustration. “I know you, Bea. You’re the one who told me that you want to please them, to make them happy. I know it’s important to you, whatever you say.”

“It is,” I say, confused. “It was.” I struggle to find the words. “If I try and fit in their world I’ll end up making us all unhappy. Things have to change.” I take a deep breath. “I’m going to school,” I say. “It’s what I want. It always has been. I think I’ll study medicine. Find a way to help people, actually make a difference.”