After weeks of being left to probe in the dark for answers about what I am, I'm finally getting scraps of truth. Even if most of the passages are vague and often unclear, they're starting to stitch together to form a fuzzy picture about what it means to be unbound.

Last night's reading did provide one clear, undeniable insight, though. An insight I should be able to use. All this time, I've been trying to pull water from within myself. It's how our instructors teach us to channel, and it's the way I hear everyone else talking about what it feels like. But that's not how my affinity works. The unbound don't generate power; they borrow it. They take it.

"Draw from the world around you," the book had said. "Elements exist in all things—the moisture in air, the heat in stone, the gust of wind, and the spark in friction. The unbound can coerce these elements where others command. The unbound can pull them, shape them like a conductor shapes music from instruments."

Which explains why I've been failing so spectacularly. I've been trying to play the damn instrument when I should have been directing the orchestra.

"Nessa!" Mireen's voice snaps me back to reality as she not-so-discreetly breaks apart stale bread and sprinkles the crumbs beneath her bed. "We're going to be late for weapons training. Again. I could pretend to be you, but my ass isn’t nearly big enough to pull off the disguise."

I'm braiding my hair, so I toss her an amused glare over my shoulder. "I’m almost ready. And your boobs are too small, too. You forgot that part.”

She tosses a dirty training top at my head in response, and we both laugh. If nothing else, Mireen is an expert in finding ways to make me smile or laugh, even when my thoughts are at their darkest.

I make sure my braid is tight and my training weapon is strapped to my belt before I get up to leave.

If I rule out the ever-present possibility of death, then weapons training has already become my favorite part of the day. I’m neither the strongest, biggest, or even the fastest of students here. Fighting unarmed puts all those deficiencies on full display. Without a weapon, I’m hopeless.

My only talent there is an ability to endure pain and punishment, meaning I tend to tap out and yield much later than other students. But I’ve taken to the rapier right away.

Sure, I still take blunted weapons to the face, arms, and stomach more times than I'd like, but it's all in the name of training. And so far, I’ve been able to avoid getting matched against any of Malakai’s people.

But today is open for challenge matches, which means the danger level is amplified. A lot.