His eyes are heavy as he looks both ways, as if double checking we're not being watched. "This is the book I told you about from my family's personal library. It took a few weeks for father to get it here. And… I spent the last few days reading it myself. Sorry. I wanted to make sure I knew more about what you were before I… trusted you with this."

I frown. "Trusted me? You're acting like I'm dangerous, or something."

"You are. More than you realize. Oh, and the book is encrypted. Empire destroyed anything having to do with unbound centuries ago. The encryption is the only reason this one survived the purge. It’s also part of the reason I didn't give it to you right away. I needed time to create a key you can use to decipher it. And Nessa? Don't write the actual text down anywhere. Guard that key with your life, and destroy it before you let anyone touch it. Understand?"

I nod my head as the gravity of what he’s saying and what I am seems to settle in on me with new weight.

"Use the key. Read the book. You'll start to understand."

He looks like he wants to say more, but he turns and disappears instead, leaving me with the strange book.

I run my fingertips over its surface, wishing it wasn't already so late. I doubt I'll have the energy to read much of it tonight before passing out, but I'm sure as hell going to try. Dread mingles with a desperate kind of hope as I stare at the book, wondering if I’m finally about to get some actual answers about what I am.

7

I use the water tower common room to read Bastian's book because I don't want to wake Mireen with my candlelight. At this hour, it's empty—nobody is crazy enough to deprive themselves of sleep with the hell we endure every day.

Nobody except me, apparently. Or whoever is causing a girl in a nearby room to moan loud enough that I occasionally hear it.

My fingers tremble as I carefully open the book. I've spent weeks searching for answers about what the hell I am, and Bastian may have just handed me all of them. The leather cover is cool against my palms, the pages inside worn with age and heavy with secrets. The book even smells old, reeking of forgotten knowledge and buried truths.

It's just a book, but I can't seem to slow my breathing as I crack open the ancient cover and run my fingers down the first page.

It takes me a minute to get the hang of the key and the encoded text. It's not as simple as swapping letters for letters—there's a complex system based on sound patterns that makes my eyes burn with concentration. Every deciphered word feels like a small victory as I whisper them under my breath.