"Well, you didn't," Ambrose says, standing straighter. "And you should stop trying so hard to get things in my mouth. People will start to wonder."

The two of them fall into good-natured bickering and teasing as we gather our things and head for the lecture hall.

The rest of the day passes in a blur of classes and training. Combat theory with Instructor Vail, where we study ancient battle strategies of primal warfare. Physical conditioning, where Beck breaks his previous record lifting a water-enhanced weight system, beaming with pride as Instructor Thorn marks his progress in the ledger. Elemental history, which focuses on how there used to be more continents on our world before the elemental civil war completely destroyed them, leaving all of humanity on the single large landmass. There are, of course, outlying islands, but dangerous rogue elementals make traveling that far across the oceans too dangerous for any but the most desperate to make the journey.

Beck found the lesson boring enough to fall asleep, snoring so loudly that Ambrose had to elbow him awake several times.

Through it all, I'm only half-present, my mind constantly returning to the revelations at the quarry and tonight's training session with Raith. I've felt like things between us have been changing lately. But I'm worried he feels it too, and the Raith I know will pull away before anything becomes serious. He'll pull back at the last moment, and if I let myself hope we might become something, I'll be left with a broken heart.

So I do my best to just… not think about it. Because I've tried and failed too many times to convince myself I don't want him.

I do, though. Gods, I want him.

The truth of it burns under my skin like fire. It's far too strong to deny, so all I can do is manage periods of time where I force myself to think about other topics.

And maybe, just maybe, if I avoid thinking about him often enough I'll forget how I feel.

"Avoiding the blade at your throat only makes it slice deeper," Typhon notes.

"Raith isn't a blade at my throat, though."

"No. A blade at your heart, perhaps."

* * *

Raith’s advice about paying attention helps me slip outside the castle walls for a bit of practice with Typhon. I stand in a grassy field with him, mostly shielded by trees if anyone cared to look out from the walls. He waits in front of me, larger now than he was when we returned from Confluence day by quite a bit. His shoulder is high above my head, and if he extends his long neck and wings, he’s simply breathtaking. Absolutely massive.

I put my hands on my hips, staring up at him. “So… Raith thinks I should learn to ride and fight from your back.”

“You would likely be in more danger on my back than on the ground. I’ll have to hold back with you riding me.”