"Just to be clear, I still think you guys are having sex," Ambrose says. "I just also think you're finding time to train. And I definitely think something's going on with you and Bastian, too."

"Wow," I say, shaking my head. "I've only spoken to Bastian a handful of times since we got here. I hardly even know him." It feels mostly true, at least. His gift of the unbound book and his knowledge about what I am seems like a level of intimacy that adds weight to our few meetings.

But at least the essence of what I'm saying feels true: I don't think Bastian has any particular feelings for me. If anything, he's just another person who is trying to decide how he can best use my abilities. The only difference is I have no idea what use he thinks he can have for me. All I know is they don't involve me being dead, which lets me trust him to an extent.

"You have to admit," Mireen says. "It's suspicious that both men just happen to be around you so often. Not that you don't have a great personality, but..."

"I've got to go," I say, standing suddenly. I'm still thinking about Raith. About Ambrose's point. If Raith doesn't know Serena could be raising allies, he might be in far more danger than he realizes. My chest tightens at the thought.

"Nessa," Mireen says. "We're just kidding around. The Crucible is looming over all of us like an executioner's blade. Talking about dumb stuff like this makes things feel a little more normal. It's nice to at least act like we're not fighting for our lives once in a while."

I shake my head. "It's okay. I get it. I'm not upset, I just... need to talk to someone."

Beck and Ambrose share a look. Beck loops his thumb and forefinger into a circle and slides his other index finger into the circle meaningfully while mouthing the word "talk."

Ignoring him, I rush to leave the aspirant's section of the water's common room and head down the spiral staircase.

"Ahhh," Typhon says. "I now understand what the circle and finger gesture means. It's a depiction of sexual activity. They believe you're going to look for the fire touched to mate."

"Raith doesn't want me like that, Typhon. I just want to make sure he has thought about the possibility of Serena secretly gathering allies." Even as I say the words, I feel the flutter in my belly that seems to accompany thoughts of Raith these days.

"And yet I feel the truth through the tether, angry human. You know he has likely thought of this. You just crave his... scent?"

"Is there a way to just... shut the door on you for a little?"