Chapters (49)
Raith catches my wrist as I turn to leave, his touch sending a familiar current of heat up my arm awakening every dormant nerve ending in its path. Not just the natural warmth of his fire affinity, but something deeper, more unsettling. For a moment, I feel the pull of his power, the instinctive urge to draw it into myself.
"Nessa." His voice is barely above a whisper. "If you're in trouble, tell me."
I meet his eyes, seeing real concern there, and something else—something that makes my heart race for entirely different reasons.
"I'm fine," I say, genuinely believing it. "Just tired."
He releases me reluctantly, his fingers trailing along my skin. "Tell me when you're meeting him next. I'll be here. Just in case."
"You don't have to do that."
"You can tell me when you'll be here, or I'll simply make a point of following you around at all hours. One way or another, I’ll be here."
My lips curve up. "You're threatening to stalk me?"
"If that's what it takes."
"Why? Why have you been trying so hard to keep me alive? And don't tell me it's because I helped you in the elemental plane. You were protecting me before that."
Raith's face is an unreadable mask. It’s several long seconds before he finally answers. "There was somebody I used to know. Somebody who was a far better person than me. I failed to keep him alive when the time came, and I swore I would find a way to make it up to him."
I frown. "What do you mean?"
"You remind me of him. In a way. There's a… light in you. Something that seems like it would go on burning even in a fucking rainstorm. That's how he was. Too good for this world, maybe. And I let it take him."
His eyes blaze with the memory, and my heart aches for him, his grief becoming mine for a moment, sharp as broken glass and twice as cutting.
"What was his name?" I ask, voice soft.
"Gareth."
He doesn't say more, but the silence seems to have a voice of its own with Raith. I feel a sudden certainty that Gareth and his death had something to do with the scars on Raith's body. Maybe Gareth is even the reason he's here at Confluence.
"I'll let you know before I come back here."
"Good. Now get back to your room, Nessa. I'm going to hang back and make sure he doesn't have you followed."
I nod, not trusting myself to speak again. It's not because I'm worried I'll talk about my what Voss told me, either. I'm afraid to speak because Raith finally let down his walls, even if it was only for an instant. And gods. I didn't realize how badly I wanted to be let inside his guard—to be closer to him.