He said, “I’m not asking for sympathy. This is something I’ll have to live with the rest of my life.” Inwardly, he winced because the tone was off. He sounded petulant when he meant to sound remorseful.

She took a tissue from her handbag and wiped her eyes, pausing then to blow her nose. She made a sound that was an audible sigh and he wondered if the worst of the storm had passed. She was shaking her head with a small sad smile. “Do you want to know what I came home to? You’ve probably forgotten this along with everything else. I found an empty vodka bottle and six empty beer cans tossed in the trash. There was whiskey all over the patio where you’d knocked over the Maker’s Mark. You must have fallen against the table because it was tipped up on its side and there was broken glass everywhere. It’s a wonder you didn’t cut your own throat.”

She paused and pressed the tissue against her mouth. She shook her head again, saying, “I don’t know you, Walker. I have no idea who you are or what you’re about. I’m serious.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry. I’ll never have another drink again as long as I live. I give you my word.”

“Oh, for god’s sake. Spare me. Look at you. You’ve been drunk for days and now an innocent girl is dead.”

He knew better than to go on defending himself. He’d just have to ride it out, let her get it all out of her system, and then maybe she’d relent. He held his hand out, palm up, in a mute plea for contact.

She leaned forward. “I’m filing for divorce.”

“Carolyn, don’t say that. I’ll quit. I promise you.”

“I don’t give a shit about your promises. You said you could quit anytime you wanted, but you meant as long as I kept an eye on you. The minute my back was turned, you were at it again and look at the result. I’m not your keeper. That’s not my job. You’re in charge of yourself and you blew it.”

“I know. I understand. I have no defense. I’m begging you not to do this. We’re a family, Carolyn. I love you. I love my kids. I’ll do anything to make this right.”

“There’s no way to make it right. That poor girl died because of you.”

“Don’t keep saying that. I get it and you have no idea how horrible I feel. I deserve the worst. I deserve anything you want to throw at me—hatred, blame, recriminations, you name it—only please not right now. I need you. I can’t get through this without you.”