His left eye twitches. “I’ll take care of it once I’m home.”

“Gotcha.” I pop the last nugget in my mouth.

“Are those dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets?” he asks.

“And if they are?”

He clears his throat. “Surprising choice for an adult’s meal. Then again, your vegetable is a solitary baby carrot drowning in ranch. Perhaps your regard for nutrition is like that of most Americans. Deplorable.”

“It was four carrots!”

“Ah, but you only ingested three,” he says. “Considering one of them hit my forehead.”

“Here you go!” Jules singsongs, cutting through the tension.

Jamie takes the key from her and nods politely. “Thank you,” he tells her. “Beatrice,” he says by way of a goodbye.

“James,” I mutter between clenched teeth.

When Jules shuts the door behind her, I whip out my phone, pulling up my text thread with Not-Really-Ben. We’ve messaged a little bit the past few days, but after this miserable reminder of how absolutely awful Jamie is, I’m ready to double down on our prospective date. I need to get that almost kiss and Jamie Westenberg’s arrogant face out of my head. For good.

BEA: I’m about to tear out my hair. I could use a chess pun right about now.

NRB: I’d offer one but I’m so aggravated I can barely type.

BEA: What happened w/ you?

NRB: I don’t want to get into it. Just someone who thrives on getting under my skin.

BEA: Dude. Same. I peopled for 8 hours at work, then just dealt with the last person I wanted to see. I have no bandwidth for bullshit after socializing all day.

NRB: Makes two of us. I’m sorry you had a day like mine, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone.

BEA: I’m sry you had a day like that, too.

NRB: Well, let’s salvage it a little shall we? Here’s a new riddle: How does an Aussie tell you they’re attacking your king?

I drum my fingers on the counter.

BEA: No clue.

NRB: Check, mate!

BEA: Wow. That was like dad-joke level bad, NRB.

NRB: It took your mind off your bad day for just a moment, though, didn’t it? Maybe even made you smile?

I hide my phone as Juliet glances my way and wiggles her eyebrows knowingly. Damn it all if an outrageous smile isn’t lighting up my face.

· EIGHT ·

Jamie

Hours after my traumatic encounter with Beatrice and the Baby Carrot, my phone buzzes as I lie in bed with a book in my lap. Pseudonymous Addie’s text lights up the screen.

PA: Do you ever feel completely alone?

JAMIE: Yes. Do you?

PA: Yes.

PA: But I feel like it’s my fault.

I shift in bed, setting a bookmark in my book and devoting my full attention to my phone.