They’re back at the condo now playing Monopoly. I wouldn’t have guessed how serious Dan gets with the board games. Last night he had to walk away from Boggle when Ginger threatened to tear up the score cards if he didn’t calm down. They both seemed mostly back to normal tonight, less fake happy and more relaxed. But then, after I went to bed, I heard Dan bring up the occupational therapist that Andrea recommended. Ginger said, “I know she needs to see someone. We just can’t push her yet,” before they both fell into silence. So not entirely back to normal, then.

I snuck out with a blanket to sit by the ocean so I wouldn’t have to hear more. It’s almost dark, but not quite, and the beach is empty. I pick at one of the scabs on my head. It’s beginning to flake off, settling on the shoulders of my jacket like dandruff. Perfect. I think about Monday and school. I haven’t told Dan and Ginger I’m not going back. Will Well and Geneva and Tucker and Jacob, my first real friends, even notice when I’m not there? Or maybe they weren’t ever really my friends. Maybe you can’t be friends with someone you don’t really know.

And then there’s Mom, who I’m going to have to see after almost eight weeks of nothing. I wonder if she even wants to see me. Or is this just one of the steps she has to go through to give up custody? I pick at the threads of the blanket and ignore the twist my heart makes at the thought. At least I can give her back her guitar. One less reminder of her after she’s gone.

My phone buzzes in the pocket of my new jacket, and when I pull it out, the screen lights up.

fine

u don’t have 2 talk 2 me

but u have 2 listen 2 this…

It’s Well. I watch the little dots hover on the screen while he types. And then he sends me a link. It’s a new Spotify playlist.

LOU’S SURVIVAL PLAYLIST

“Have It All,” Jason Mraz

“Unsteady,” X Ambassadors

“Count on Me,” Bruno Mars

“Stubborn Love,” The Lumineers

“Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken,” Pink

“Say Something,” Justin Timberlake featuring Chris Stapleton

“Lean on Me,” Bill Withers

“Roar,” Katy Perry

“Washed by the Water,” Will Hoge

“Best Day of My Life,” American Authors

“Imagine,” John Lennon

“Don’t Stop Believin’,”Journey

“Awake My Soul,” Mumford & Sons

“A Million Dreams,” The Greatest Showman soundtrack

“Livin’ on a Prayer,” Bon Jovi

“Everything’s Okay,” Lenka

“We’re Going to Be Friends,” The White Stripes

My phone beeps with another text. It’s Well again: U don’t get 2 give up yet, Suzy Lee. I let my finger hover for just a second. And then I hit play.

12 All I Want for Christmas Is You