Maria nods. My stomach clenches. It’s like a hunger pang, but I’m hollowed out by fear. What does she mean by “placement”? Are they trying to find a place for me and Mom to stay tonight? Did I total the truck? I climb back in bed and tuck my knees up under my chin. Maria and I watch the doctor and nurse leave.

“Is my mom outside?”

Maria pulls up a chair. She is in a different suit this time, a tan pantsuit with black stripes. She looks like someone from Law & Order.

“Lou. It’s going to be a little bit before you see your mom.”

My heart ticks twice and then stops. That can’t be true. Mom would never let them get away with that. She’s lying. She’s trying to trick me into saying something that will get Mom in trouble.

“Why?” I say as calmly as I can. Underneath the sheets, my palms are clammy and cold.

“Our priority is you.” Maria sets her folder on the end of the bed near my left foot. I want to kick it. “We need to make sure you are safe and well cared for in your home environment.”

“My mom did care for me, does care for me. You’re the one keeping me out of my ‘home environment.’ ” It comes out a little panicky. Why is she doing this to us?

Maria’s shoulders slump in her shoulder pads. “Lou, you were living in your car, and it’s about to be winter. That is not safe.”

My heart kicks back in, but at double speed. I can’t breathe. I can’t stay here one more second! I rip off the sheets and jump down. I almost fall but catch myself.

“We were about to go to LA! Please, please let me see her,” I beg. And then I start crying. I want my mom. A dark, deep pit has opened up in my stomach. I need my mom.

“Honey.” Maria puts a hand on my shoulder. I howl like an animal and run to the opposite side of the room. I bang on the window and scream until my throat’s raw and bitter tasting.

A nurse bursts in, and Maria holds out her hand like a traffic cop. “We’re okay.”

Eventually I stop screaming, mostly because it hurts too much. Maria has been standing still this whole time. She watches me crawl back into bed. I pull the blanket over my head and pretend, once again, that she is not there.

“Lou, I promise not to touch you again without your say-so, okay?”

Maria’s voice has changed, there’s a different kind of pity there. She understands now that I am not normal.

Good.